Things Never Go As Planned
by keeperofcoldtoes
Summary: Skulker turns Danny into a four year old on the orders of Vlad. Now it's up to Vlad to take care of 'Young Daniel' but he soon begins to realize that maybe he wasn't cracked up to be a parent. Also, Skulker realizes that he hates kids.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom or any of the characters in the show.

oOoOoOo

The famous Vlad Masters stood in his labratory, working on some sort of new project. He had been working on it for quite some time.

He had rings beneath his dark eyes and, a few strands of silver hair had come undone from his ponytail.

Soon, the second ghost hybrid would join him. Danny would stand by Vlad as they ruled over the world, and eventually, so would his beloved, Maddie. Of course, he would take things one step at a time. Once the boy came, so would Maddie.

Vlad walked over to the icebox and opened the lid. Wisps of white smoke escaped from their cold confinement. With gloved hands he pulled out a vial that held an orange liquid.

Walking back to the table, he grasped a graduated cylinder that was half full of black goo and an eyedropper. Placing the eye dropper in the vial, he extracted only a few cenimeters from the glass container. He needed only seven drops of the orange liquid in order for it to have it's desired effect. Vlad positioned the eyedropper over the cylinder and squeezed it's rubber end. 

One... Two. Three.

He squeezed harder.

Four. Five Six.

His hand shook.

Seven Eight Nine Ten.

"Curses!" Vlad growled. Hopefully, the amount of liquid wouldn't effect the formula too much.

He smiled widely as the concoction slowly turned from black, to a bright, neon purple.

The villian chuckled lightly at the effects of his new syrum. Not being able to hold it in any longer, he let out a roar of laughter, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA--!"

His long maniacal laughter, was cut short by a new arrival through his ghost portal.

"Did I interupt something?" Skulker asked Vlad. Vlad gave a slight cough and cleared his throat, "No, just exercising the lungs... Come in."

Skulker lifted a non-existant eyebrow, but complied and walked over to Vlad.

"This is the new syrum," Vlad informed the inflamed headed ghost. He pulled out a large syringe and placed some of the concoction within it, "This should do the trick."

Vlad capped the syringe and handed it to Skulker, "Be sure that every drop is within his system." Skulker nodded his head in response and placed the syringe inside of his pants pocket.

"Do not fail Skulker...," Vlad said menacingly while Skulker left back through the portal.

oOoOoOo

The next day.

The birds were singing. The sun was shining. Random people on the other side of the world, were dying from starvation. And three teens, Danny, Sam, and Tucker, were leisurely walking to school that morning and were deeply engaged in conversation.

"Today seems like a perfect day, don't you think?" Sam asked cheerfully.

"Why are you so happy?" Tucker asked his gothic friend when he finally looked up from his PDA, "Your supposed to be the pessimistic and sarcastic one in this group"

Danny rolled his baby blue eyes, "She's just happy because she's protesting against animal testing today."

"Animals have rights too!" Sam said loudly, "They shouldn't have to go through all that torture, just because buisnesses need something to use their hair products on before selling it!"

"How do you even 'know' that their testing on animals?" Tucker asked his enviromental friend.  
Sam fumed, "Are you doubting me?"

Tucker held a hand up, "It's not that! It's just that your protesting will prove useless if you don't have proof."

"I have proof!" Sam yelled loudly.

There was a pregnant silence.

"..." Everyone stood quietly, waiting for another to speak.

Sam was the first to state something, "Well... I don't have any... yet," she admitted.

"Then how do know that their testing on animals?" Tucker asked Sam. Danny was standing in the sidelines. He felt that the argument was just between Sam and Tucker.

Sam put on a knowing smirk, "Because I saw a buisness guy walk into the building with two dogs when the sign on the door clearly said: ANIMALS ARE NOT ALLOWED WITHIN THE BUILDING," Sam informed and folded her arms in satisfaction.

Tucker shrugged his shoulders, dropping the conversation, and returned to his PDA.

"Hey Danny, maybe you could fly into their building and check to see if they are testing on animals," Sam suggested with a pleading smile.

"Can't," Danny said as Sam's smile dropped, "At least not right now, I don't want to risk being late for class, again." Sam sighed in defeat.

"Well, how abou-," Sam cut herself off when she saw blue mist escape from Danny's mouth.

"Aw crud," Danny said disdainfully and ducked into a nearby alley, "Going ghost!" Danny shouted as he lifted his arms. A ring appeared around his waist and split in two. Both rings moved through out his body to change him into his alter ego, Danny Phantom.

As Danny Phantom, he flew upwards into the sky, in order to get a bird's eye view. However, this didn't help him very much, since the ghost was invisible and behind Danny.

The ghost turned visible and was about to reach for the hybrid ghost, but Sam called out to Danny before he could catch him.

"Danny! Look out!" Sam yelled to her friend.

Danny immediately flew out of reach and faced the ghost.

"Skulker!" Danny looked at the ghost hunter, "If your coming for my pelt, then you have another thing coming!" Danny cried out and fired a few ectoplasmic beams at Skulker.

Skulker easily dodged, "I'm not here for your pelt. I'm here to do my job Ghost Child," Skulker stated and flew towards Danny. He then fired at net at him by using one of the many launchers on his arm.

Danny turned intangible, thinking that he could phase through the net. This was not the case though. Instead it did what it was made to do. Which was to trap Danny and cause him to sail through the air and crash to the ground very, very painfully.

"What is this?" Danny asked Skulker from within the net, "Why can't I phase through?"

Skulker smiled as he descended to the ground, "It's a new net that I developed. Do you like it?"

Ignoring the question Danny demanded, "Let me go!"

In turn, Skulker ignored Danny's demand and pulled out a syringe that held a purple liquid.

Danny's eyes widened. He wasn't really scared of needles, but one that was that big and held by his enemy, was something to be scared of.

Tucker and Sam were watching the event and decided to take action. Sam reached into her book bag and pulled out the Fenton Batterang(sp?). She threw it at Skulker with all of her strength and it successfully hit him on the head. It didn't seem to do him any damage though, but it did tick him off enough to pick it up and toss it back to her.

It hit Sam in the stomache and sent her flying into Tucker. The two were knocked down by the impact.

"Sam! Tucker!" Danny yelled in worry and tried to escape from his imprisonment so that he could help them.

Skulker turned back to Danny and uncapped the needle that was still in his hand. "Stay still," Skulker commanded the ghost child and pinned him down.

"OW!" Danny screamed when he felt the needle pierce the skin of his neck, "Stop it!" he said as he felt the contents of the syringe spill into his body.

After a few moments, Skulker finally finished and stood from his former position with a smirk on his face.

"What did you put in me?" Danny asked as he rubbed his sore neck.

"You'll find out soon enough," he said and flew off into the distance.

A few moments past and Sam sat up from the ground, "Owwww...," she groaned.

"Are you guys alright?" Danny asked as he reverted back to his human form and tried to break free from the net. He still couldn't get out though.

"I think I broke something," Sam said slowly, "But at least I landed on something soft."

"Get off of me!" Tucker yelled from beneath Sam and shoved her off his stomache. She landed with a 'plop' beside him.

"Oops...," Sam muttered, but it was loud enough for the others to hear.

"What?" Danny and Tucker asked at the same time.

Sam held up the two broken pieces of the batterang as she rubbed her sore belly.

Tucker and Danny felt their jaws drop. The batterang was thrown with enough force to knock Sam and Tucker down and break in half, but all it did to Sam was give her a sore stomache.

Sam saw the looks that her friends were giving her, "What?" she asked and they just shook their heads. She rolled her eyes, "Tucker, help me free Danny," she said.

Tucker and Sam helped Danny out from the net.

"What happened to Skulker?" Tucker asked Danny, "It's not like him to leave his 'prey'," Tucker said while putting enphasis on the 'prey' part.

Danny rubbed his neck again, "He gave me a shot and just left," Danny answered.

"What was the shot for?" Sam asked. Tucker cut in, "Maybe he was playing doctor."

"He didn't say," Danny said ignoring Tucker's suggestion.

"Do you feel any different?" Sam asked her friend.

"No, but the shot he gave me left a bruise," Danny replied and turned his head, so that they could see the darkened skin left on his neck.

Tucker broke out into a laugh. "What's so funny?" Danny asked Tuck.

Tucker pointed at Danny's neck before shouting, "It looks like a hickey!"

Sam snorted while Danny frowned. "Yes, that's right Tucker, tell it to the world," Danny said sarcastically.

Tucker only laughed harder at this comment.

Sam frowned, "Okay Tucker, you can shut up now."

Tucker managed to calm himself.

"Well, I guess we better go before we're late for class," Tucker said right before they heard the school bell ring from down the street, "I just jinxed it, didn't I?" Tucker asked with a sigh.

"We're late!" Sam and Danny yelled at the same time and took off while Tucker quickly followed after.

oOoOoOo

"This is the third time this week that the three of you have been tardy," Mr. Lancer, the English teacher, informed his students.

Tucker, Sam, and Danny winced at the tone of his voice as they sat in their usual seats, "Now I'll give you two options 1) I can call your parents and inform them of this or 2) I can assign you detention for each day that you have been tardy this week. Which will it be?" Lancer asked the three.

The three teens shot up their hands at the same time and cried, "Detention!"

Mr. Lancer growled, "Fine," he mumbled and walked over to his desk so that he could begin class. The other students in the classroom snickered at the event.

"Turn your textbooks to page four hundred and three," Lancer told his pupils, "This story is titled 'The Pond' and is written by I. C. Canibals. This is the scariest story in the entire textbook, and since I know that teens love things of horror, I expect all of you to pay 'attention'," Lancer emphasized the word 'attention' when he turned his head to Danny. Danny managed to catch the look and sat up straight in his desk.

Dash, who was sitting behind Danny, poked his shoulder.

"Is that a hickey?" Dash asked the agitated teen. Danny scowled and turned back around in his seat. "How come Fenton gets some action and I don't?" Dash asked himself. Danny rolled his eyes, that stupid shot was giving stupid people ideas.

"We will be reading this story outloud," a few students groaned in protest, "Baxter, since you seem to enjoy hearing your voice, please begin," Lancer asked the blonde jock.

Dash sighed. He really hated English class, it was so stupid and pointless. Plus, there were to many big words involved.

" 'Hey, David,' said a light skinned, blonde girl to a dark headed boy. 'Hey Liz,' replied David.' The two were a-adverage," Dash studdered, he was really bad at pronoucing really hard words, ", adverage students at Socheezie High. Liz was in the chess club and David was football player. "

Danny raised an eyebrow at the sentence within the textbook. Hopefully, the football player would get killed or something.

" They were also boyfriend and girlfriend. It was on this day that David asked Liz a serious question. 'Hey listen, I heard of this romantic spot out in the forest and I was wondering if you would like to come along with me tonight,' David asked his girlfriend," Dash could feel himself ready to gag, he hated stories that had romance in them. Sam felt as though she could burst with joy, not only was this a horror story but it also had some romance.

" 'Sure,' said Liz, 'Just let me get my flashlight, and we can go there right now!' Liz said, she was really excited. 'Cool,' David replied as the two climbed into his truck and sped on their way," Dash said.

"That's enough for you Baxter," Mr. Lancer said, "Fenton, you take over," Dash sighed in relief.

Danny continued from where Dash left off, " The two teenagers arrived at the forest and began walking down a dirt path until they came to a large pond that shimmered in the moonlight above," Danny read. He didn't know why, but for some strange reason he wanted a cookie. A large, chocolate chip cookie. Danny shook the thought out of his mind and continued to read.

" The two stopped at the pond, taking in the moment. Something suddenly broke the surface of the pond. The thing looked foul and decayed and it almost looked like a person- Can I have a cookie?" Danny suddenly said and then clamped his mouth shut with his hands. Sam inwardly groaned, it was just starting to get good. Everyone else looked at Danny with curious eyes.

Mr. Lancer had an eyebrow raised, "No, you cannot have a cookie. Now please continue with the story."

Danny blushed. What had made him say that? "The two screamed in horror at the sight. They had neve- I need to go weewee," Danny interrupted the story again.

"What is wrong with you Mr. Fenton?" Mr. Lancer asked his student. Surely Danny didn't do this all the time.

"I have to go," Danny groaned while squeezing his legs shut. Sam and Tucker exchanged confused glances while the other students laughed.

"Can it wait?" Lancer asked Danny.

"NO!" Danny shouted and stood from his desk, "I have to go now! Where's the potty?" Danny questioned Mr. Lancer. Lancer stood in shock. Had Danny gone insane? Or was he just wanting attention?

Before Mr. Lancer could reply Danny dashed out of the classroom, leaving behind a very confused and amused classroom.

Lancer stood indifferent from the event. "Well," Tucker intervined, "If you gotta go, then you gotta go."

oOoOoOo

Danny ran through the halls of the school. He had to get to the bathroom soon or else he was in big trouble. Looking at two large double doors, he ran out of the school and out on the sidewalk. This didn't help him, there wasn't a bathroom in site.

Unexpectingly, a pain shot through his body and he could feel himself begin to change. His body began to get smaller and he felt much lighter than he did before.

The pain slowly began to ebb away and soon after wards, he felt much better. He even didn't need to use the bathroom anymore, but he still wanted a cookie.

The fourteen year old Danny, had turned into a four year old Danny. Decked in jeans, sneakers, and a red t-shirt.

A shadow loomed over the younger version of Danny. Danny blinked and looked up to see a white haired man, wearing a black suit.

The man smiled down at Danny, "Why hello Daniel..."

oOoOoOo

I'm sorry if I made some spelling and grammar errors, but the program that I use doesn't have any sort of spell or grammar check. All I have is this dictionary that was made in 1977. Also, I forgot the name of the boomerang that the Fentons use, if someone could -please- remind me I'll go back and fix it. That story that was in there is totally my own. And if you noticed, the 'author' is named I. C. Canibals. And also, I know that my style of writing sucks, but since I'm the writer I can't tell what it is that makes it suck so badly. It's kind like you drawing something and you need someone to point out what's wrong with the drawing in order to see what you did wrong. I thought that it was funny. Well, please R & R! 


	2. The Beginings of a Road Trip

Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom, McDonald's, Scars, Battle of New Orleans, Mrs. Suzy, Champions, Hershey's, or Spiderman. If I did I would have hundred dollar bills as toilet paper.

oOoOoOo

The four year old, Danny looked up at Vlad, "Hi!" he said in a chippy little voice, "Who're you?" he asked.

Vlad smirked, "My name is Vlad. Vlad Masters," he said honestly, "Would you like to go on a ride with me?" he asked in a kind voice.

Little Daniel looked back and forth uneasily, "Mommy told me not to go anywhere's with strangers," he said. Vlad's smile broadened.

"Well, it's a good thing I'm not a stranger then," Vlad said, "I'm one of your daddy's old friends."

"Really?" Danny tilted his head to the side. "Yes," Vlad replied, "You might have heard him call me...," Vlad bent down so that he could get closer to the boy, "He calls me 'V-man'," he said, the nick name was a little embarressing.

Danny nodded in understanding, "Oh! Yeah! Daddy talks alot about you! Daddy says that you were his best friend in cooleg," Danny said.

"Cooleg?" Vlad said, a little confused, "What's cooleg?" he had never heard such a word.

Danny giggled, "That big school. You know cooleg!" Danny repeated.

Vlad almost smacked himself, "Do you mean, college?" he asked, he wasn't experienced in the language of toddlers, but he wasn't stupid either.

Danny scowled, "That's what I said the first time!"

"I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood," Vlad said slyly, "Anyways, what do you say about you and I going for a ride?" If things were going to work out, then the boy had to come willingly.

"Can we get cookies and icecream?" Danny asked excitingly.

"Of course," Vlad said smoothly. Danny walked over to Vlad and grabbed his hand. Vlad nearly jerked away from the unexpected touch, but he managed to remain indifferent.

"What are we waiting for then?" Danny asked as he held Vlad's hand, "Let's go!"

The billionare walked over to his parked car that was across the street, with Danny still clutched onto his right hand.

Vlad opened the door on the passenger side, "Hop in little badger," he said. Danny looked at Vlad with a confused face, "What's a badger?" he asked.

"It's not important," Vlad replied and Danny climbed into the vehicle. Vlad placed himself into the car as well and started the engines.

"What's your favorite kind of icecream?" Danny asked Vlad. "Chocolate," Vlad replied and also added, "Don't forget to buckle up."

Danny buckled up all by himself. Vlad didn't really notice it, but Danny saw it as an accomplishment, "I did it all by myself!" he cried out.

Vlad raised an eyebrow, "That's good," he said. Well, it was good to know that Danny liked to be independent at an early age.

Vlad began driving down the road. Danny thought that they were going to a store to get cookies and icecream, when they were actually driving to Winsconsin.

Yes, it would be much easier just to fly Young Daniel there by using his ghost powers, but that would most likely frighten him to death. A screaming child was not what Vlad needed at the moment.

It was strange though. The syrum was only supposed to make him into an eight year old, not a four year old. Well, perhaps the difference in age was better. An eight year old would probably freak out more than a four year old. It was expected for Young Daniel to be a little scared at the fact that he was half ghost. Who wouldn't at that age? Yes, Daniel did still have his ghost powers. The syrum only reversed the ageing process, it didn't seperate his ghost half from him. So, if things went smoothly, as they should, Daniel would become Vlad's adopted son. Within time, they would reign over the human world, and possibly the ghost zone. He would kill Jack. Maddie would join them and then it would be happily ever after. The end.

That is, if nothing interfered.

As Vlad mused over these things, Danny began to grow impatient. "Are we there yet?" he asked.

Oh no. That was the starting sentence of a long repeating conversation. One that Vlad didn't want to get involved in, so he replied, "We'll get there in a little while. While we're still waiting to get there, what do you say to listening to the radio?"

Danny giggled, "Okay!" So Vlad turned on the radio.

' In eighteen fourteen we took a little trip,  
along with Connel Jackson to the Mighty Missasip,  
we took a little bacon and we took a little beans,  
and we fought the bloody british in a to- '

Vlad changed the radio station, he really hated that song.

' And our scars remind us, that the past is real,  
I tear my heart open just to feel.  
I tried to help you onc- '

Vlad changed the station again.

' We are the champions, my friends,  
And we'll keep on fighting till the end,  
We are the champions,  
We are the champi- '

Vlad turned off the radio. Maybe listening to it wasn't such a good idea when he couldn't even stand the songs broadcasted on it. Then again, the sound of a radio might be a little better than the awkward silence that there was in the car.

Danny decided to break the silence by singing a song himself,

" Mrs. Suzy had a tugboat, the tugboat had a bell,  
Mrs. Suzy went to heaven, the tugboat went to-  
Hello operator, give me number nine,  
if you disconnect me, I'll kick you in-  
Behind the 'fridgerator, lain a piece of glass,  
Mrs. Suzy fell upon it, and cut her big fat-  
Ask me no more questions, tell me no more lies,  
the boys are in the bathroom, zipping up-  
The flies are in the meadow, the bees are in the park,  
Mrs. Suzy and her boyfriend, are kissing in the D. A. R. K.  
D. A. R. K. Dark! "

Danny finished his little song that left Vlad with 'two' raised eyebrows. "That was... cute," Vlad said while Danny started to giggle, "Where did you learn that song?" Vlad asked, trying to start a conversation. A quiet drive by oneself was fine, but between two living beings, an awkward silence was not wished to be achieved.

"My sissy taught it to me," Danny answered, "Mommy doesn't like it alot, but Daddy thinks that it's funny," Danny then changed the topic, "When were we going to get cookies and icecream? I'm really hungry," Danny's stomache growled in response.

Oh yes, that's right. Food. What kind of foods do four year olds eat anyways? It had been so long since he was four, that he couldn't remember. Well, he knew for a fact that sugar on an empty stomache made you sick. So, icecream and cookies would have to wait a while. 

"What do you want to eat Daniel?" Vlad asked the youngster.

"Cookies and icecream," Danny replied, "And my names Danny. Not Daniel."

"I'm sorry Danny, but you have to eat something healthy first," Vlad said reasonably.

"No," Danny folded his arms across his chest and pouted. "You can't have cookies and icecream on an empty stomache. You have to eat something besides sugar or else you'll get sick," Vlad said.

Danny didn't reply, but kept a sour face.

Vlad sighed when he heard Danny's stomache growl again. Maybe he should call up his great-grandmother. She was at least one hundred twelve and still hadn't died like normal people do, but she was well experienced with children. She should know what they ate. He really hated to call her, but it seemed as though he had no choice.

Vlad pulled out his cell phone and dialed her number. The line rang about three times until someone finally picked up, "Hello? This is Vlad Masters is Marylyn there?" Vlad asked with a slightly raised voice.

An old, worn voice was heard on the other line, "This is she. What in tarnation do you want?" she asked.

"I just called to say hello," he said in a light voice, "How are you Great-grandmother?"

"Oh shut up with the formalities and tell me what you want!" she hissed.

"Well," Vlad started, "I'm watching a child about four years old and was wondering if you knew what they ate," he said.

"What! Since when did you have kids?" his great-grandmother questioned.

"I'm just watching him," he replied.

"Ha! I'm not surprised. You wouldn't be able to take care of a child, even if your life depended on it! Your too much of a child yourself in order to take care of another child," she said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"That's untrue!" Vlad defended.

"Shud' up ya' ninny," his grand-mother said, "And to answer your question, kids eat chicken feed and worms. Don't you remember eating that as a kid?"

"... No," he replied. He remembered eating alot of meat and some brown stuff when he was young, but that was it.

"You ate alot of worms. You also liked to eat mud and wasps for some reason," she said, "Well, I have to start supper. Tonight we're having rat-loaf and Mark is starved. I'll see you in hell!" Marylyn said before she hung up the phone.

Vlad's mouth hung agape. Who the heck was Mark and was there such thing as a rat-loaf?

oOoOoOo

Somewhere in Georgia...

Marylyn hung up her phone and started to laugh. All of her great-grandchildren where so stupid it was hilarious.

"That young one, Vlad. He's a ninny. Ain't that right Mark?" Marylyn asked her husband, who sat across the room.

He didn't reply.

"Oh, your stupid too!" she shouted, "All you do is sit there day in and day out. You don't clean, you don't cook. You won't even get a job! It's not that you can't get a job, it just that you 'won't' get one. When the timber factory asked you to work for them, you turned them down! What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked Mark.

"Hmph! I'm starting the rat-loaf now, so just go ahead and sit there like you always do, you idiot," she growled and walked into the kitchen.

Her husband Mark continued to sit in the chair, in front of the television. Marylyn was right, he never did a thing, but then again, tree stumps never do.

oOoOoOo

Vlad pulled into the parking lot of a McDonald's. Why didn't he think to stop here in the first place? Kids loved it here. Well, at least that's what they say. 

Why did he even bother to call his great-grandmother anyway? She was known to be insane in many different aspects.

Vlad helped Daniel out of the car. Danny's face brightened up at the sight of the colorful restaurant. So he 'had' chosen the right place to stop at. After his talk with Marylyn he passed a McDonald's sign that had said: We Now Have A New Playplace- Happy Meals Come With A Toy. Seeing this sign, Vlad knew that it was the right place to go in order to feed a four year old.

Danny held Vlad's hand again and the two began to walk to the doors of the restarant. "I love McDonald's!" Danny stated happily as they walked through the doors and up to the cashier.

"Welcome to McDonald's, how may I help you?" the cashier woman said in a monotone voice. 

Vlad looked up at the menu before ordering, "I'll take a salad and a medium sized drink," Vlad said, he needed to watch his weight, "What do you want Danny?" he asked Daniel.

"A happy meal!" Danny placed his hands on the counter and stood on his tip-toes, so that he could see what the cashier woman was doing.

"Do you want the happy meal to come with a burger or chicken nuggets?" the cash register woman asked with the same voice.

"Yuck! I hate burgers!" Danny said outloud.

"He'll take chicken nuggets then," Vlad told the cashier. The cashier woman then pressed a few buttons on the cashier, "That will be eight dollars and fifty five cents, sir," she said dully.

Vlad handed her the money while another employee set a tray on the counter, "Your order, sir," the employee said and walked away.

He frowned. Food wasn't meant to be prepared that quickly. 

He picked up the tray and walked to an available table. The two sat down at the table and began to eat. Danny didn't seem to mind the fast food that was provided to him. Vlad however, picked at his salad. Was it just him or did one of the salad leaves wiggle on its own?

Vlad picked up the salad leaf and turned it over. He gasped, there were three large ants crawling beneath it and chewing bits and pieces of the salad leaf. Vlad gagged in disgust. He never knew it was possible to loose one's appetite in such a short amount of time.

He leaned over the table a bit so that he could have a look at Danny's food. Nothing seemed to be out of place. The nuggets were warm and crispy. The fries were hot and greasy. It 'seemed' normal enough.

"What'cha lookin at?" Danny asked the troubled adult.

Vlad looked down at Danny, "Nothing, just checking for... things," he said.

"Oh, okay," Danny said as he reached into his bag of fries. Instead of pulling out a fry, like normal people do, he pulled out a cricket. Vlad could feel his jaw drop as Danny, unknowestly, placed the cricket in his mouth. Had Vlad not been in shock, he would have stopped Young Daniel, but this was not the case.

Danny chewed the cricket bug and swallowed it. "Hmm...," Danny began, "This is crunchy," he said obliviously. 

Vlad's face turned colors. First he turned yellow, then darkened into green. He stood and scrambled to the waste basket, and there he emptied the contents of his stomache.

Yes, the feared Vlad Plasmius, a.k.a. the Winsconsin Ghost, had a very weak stomache. However, no matter how sick he got from the scene at McDonald's, it would never compare to how sick he got from the first time his blood was drawn.

Some people turned their heads to the man who was worshipping the trash can. Some stood and walked out the door. Others murmurred amongst themselves. Danny sat at the table, watching the entire scene and all that came out of his mouth was, "Hey, I can turn colors too!", and with that comment, Danny held his breath.

Vlad stood from his former position and walked over to Daniel. "Don't do that Daniel," he said and picked up the food items. Danny let in a breath of air so that he could talk, "Hey!" Danny pouted, "I'm not done! And my name's Danny."

Vlad ignored Danny's comment. He frowned and looked at the tray. Something green was coming out of his drink. Vlad shoved the tray into the trash before he could find out what kind of creature it was.

"We'll pick up something else to eat," he said, "This food is unhealthy," he said with as much honesty as possible. Danny nodded unhappily, "Okay," he said in defeat and grabbed onto Vlad's right hand again.

Vlad, with Danny still holding onto his hand, walked over to the cashier and slammed his hand on the counter, "I demand a refund!" he shouted.

The cashier woman looked up at him, "For whatever reason, sir?" she asked in the same monotone voice that she had been using the entire day.

"There were insects in our food!" he informed the cashier woman.

"So?" she asked.

Vlad could feel his face turning red, "That is the most sickening thing imaginable! You should be sued!" he pointed an accusing finger at the woman.

The woman rolled her eyes. Obviously, she was accused of this often, "If you were so picky about it, you should've read the sign," she said while holding her head up with her arm.

"What sign?" Vlad asked incredulously, he hadn't seen any sign when he came into the building.

The woman pointed to a small sign on the wall. Written in tiny, barely noticeable letters, was a sign that said: We Are Authorized To Put Any Sort Of Protein Into Our Food. Vlad turned around and glared at the cashier.

"You call that a sign?" Vlad started, "And that sign does not say that you put bugs in your food!"

The woman rolled her eyes again, "It says protein, and insects have protein in them. In fact, a lot of it," she said.

Vlad felt his eye twitch, "Why would you do something like that? Why would you put bugs in the food in the first place?" he asked.

The woman sighed as she watched a roach scuttle across the counter, "The Health Inspectors kept on complaining on how the food was unhealthy for humans. My manager's manager, was to lazy to come up with new 'healthy' ideas to make the foods less greasy and such, so instead he just let bugs come into the building and get into people's food. It gives mushy foods a crunch and puts more protein in the food," she explained before slamming her hand onto the roach. Danny jumped at the action.

She lifted the bug with her thumb and index finger before popping it into her mouth and munching on it, "All in all, it's not bad, and you get used to it," she said while chewing on the crunchy creature.

"Oh my God," Vlad gasped out, that was sick. If he didn't get out of there fast, he would probably throw up again, if he had anything left in his stomache. Not taking any chances, he picked up Danny and threw him onto his shoulder.

"What're you doin'?" Danny asked when he was atop of the man's shoulder. "We're leaving!" Vlad said and ran out the door as fast as his legs could carry him.

The cashier woman looked on at the scene until her co-worker walked up to her.

"I wish you would stop freaking out all of the customers, June," the employee said to her.

The cashier woman, June, shrugged and picked up a stray grasshopper, "Oh please... They just can't understand what a delicacy insects are," she replied before placing the bug within her mouth.

oOoOoOo

Vlad and Danny were in the car, driving down the road. After the inccident at the restaurant, he and Daniel had left and took a long drive. The two would have stayed on their course for Winsconsin, if it wasn't for the fact that Danny had to use the bathroom. Vlad, not wanting a yellow carpeted car, pulled over into a gas station and walked in with Danny.

Vlad looked around the gas station until he found the public restroom. "Go ahead, Daniel," he said and pointed to the restroom. Danny took off as fast as lightning to the bathroom. Danny was so preoccupied with getting to the bathroom, that he forgot to mention that his name was Danny and not Daniel.

Vlad let out a sigh of relief. Well, his car was safe, Danny seemed happy, and nothing could possibly go wrong. Yes, things were going well.

"Is that your first?" Vlad heard a voice behind him. He turned. The man who was at the cash register had spoken to him.

"My what?" Vlad asked, he was a little confused.

"Is that your first kid?" the man questioned Vlad. 

"Oh!" Vlad came to realization, "Well, yes. Yes he is!" he said cheerily. People really did think that they were father and son! Besides the fact that they didn't look alike in any sort of manner, people actually thought that they were related. Oh, how joyful of a day this was!

"The two of you don't really look alike," the man started, "Did you adopt him?" he asked.

Well, in a sense of perspective, Vlad 'did' adopt Danny. Or he was going to, he had the adoption papers at his house at the moment, so nothing was 'official', but the gas station guy didn't need to know that.

"Yes," Vlad answered simply.

"I love kids," he said, "I just can't stay away from them," he said with an eerie voice. Vlad shifted his eyes to a bar of Hershey's on the counter, the guy was beginning to creep him out.

"Oh really?" Vlad mused, "Do you like little boys?" he said, purposely not makeing eye contact with the man.

"I love little boys," the man admitted with a grin, "Do you like little boys?". Vlad almost felt his eyes pop out of his head. Who the hell was this guy, the next Michael Jackson? 

"No," Vlad answered honestly, "I don't believe in that sort of thing."

"That's really to bad," the man said right before Danny came stumbling out of the bathroom.

"That potty's scary!" Danny exclaimed and rushed over to Vlad, "When I stood up, the potty flushed on it's own and it was really loud! And when I washed my hands, the water turned on by it's self! I think that the bathroom is haunted," Danny said shakily. 

Ghosts? There were no ghosts in the gas station. If there were, Vlad would have felt their presence. Danny must have been talking about those sensor activated faucets and toilets that they have now.  
Danny hugged Vlad's leg, that bathroom was really scary.

"It'll be okay, little badger," Vlad said assuringly, "Do you want anything before we leave?" he asked.

Danny sniffed and looked up at Vlad, "Can I have a cookie?" he said.

"Of course," Vlad replied and purchased a small bag of chocolate chip cookies. While purchasing the item, Vlad looked at the man. The man smiled slyly and glanced down at Danny. Vlad noticed the look that the man was giving Danny, so he rushed out of the building with the four year old clutched onto his hand.

Vlad helped Danny climb into the vehicle. "Oh dear!" Vlad said, pretending that something was wrong.

"What is it?" Danny asked curiously.

"I seem to have forgotten my wallet in the building," he lied, his wallet was were it should be, in his pant's pocket, "Just let me go in and fetch it, while you wait here and eat your cookies," he said. Danny nodded in response, so Vlad closed the door to the car and walked back to the gas station. Oh, that man was going to pay dearly...

oOoOoOo

"What took you so long?" Danny asked Vlad when he got into the vehicle.

"I had a bit of trouble finding my wallet," Vlad lied again, there was really no need for the boy to know what he actually did.

"Oh," Danny replied.

Danny stayed silent and ate his cookies through most of the ride to Winsconsin. It was only after he was finished with his cookies, did he pull out some action figures from his pant's pocket. "Do you like Spiderman?" Danny asked Vlad as he held up a Spiderman action figure.

Vlad took his eyes off the road and glanced at the figure before turning his eyes back to the road, "Um, he's alright I suppose," Vlad replied. He didn't know much about Spider Man, to be honest, in his younger days he prefered Superman or Batman.

"I think that he's awesome!" Danny said and pulled out a Green Goblin figure from his other pocket.

Danny attempted to make his voice deep and heroic sounding, "Oh no! It's the Green Goblin!" Danny held up Spiderman.

Danny then held up the Green Goblin figure and made his voice kinda squeaky sounding, "Yes Spiderman! And today you will be destroyed!" Danny said and made the two figures collide. Judging by the amout of whacks Spiderman got from the Green Goblin, one could say that the villian was winning. Danny made the action figures stop hitting each other and made Spiderman lie down on his lap. It looked as though the Green Goblin had won.

"I win Spiderman!" Danny made the Green Goblin cry out. Danny lifted up Spiderman and made the figure give the Green Goblin a really big whack that caused the Green Goblin to fall over. "Wrong Green Goblin!" Danny said with the heroic voice, "Good always triumphs over evil!" he cried out. Danny made the Spiderman figure do a little dance, "The end!" Danny said happily.

Vlad had glanced and listened to the scenes of the epic 'battle'. It was... well, not necessarily interesting, since the outcome of the battle was decided by a four year old, but it was... different.

"Why did Spiderman win?" Vlad asked Danny. Danny looked up at Vlad with a confused face, "Because he's a good guy! Why else?" Danny then asked Vlad.

"Well," Vlad began, "Why couldn't the Green Goblin win?" he then asked Danny.

"Because he's a bad guy."

"Is that all? What if he's really just a good guy who had to become evil for certain reasons?" Vlad asked Young Daniel.

"Huh?" Danny was confused, a bad guy was just a bad guy, right?

"Never mind...," Vlad dropped the subject. Danny, at the moment, was to young to understand such things.

"Hey V-man, what is sausage made out of?" Danny asked suddenly. Vlad felt his eye twitch, he hated that nickname with a passion.

"A pig, and don't call me that!" he said with gritted teeth.

"Why not V-man?" Danny asked.

"Because I hate that name," he growled.

"Why?"

"Because."

"But why?"

"Because I said so!" Vlad practically yelled.

Danny's eyes began to water and he started to sniffle. Vlad rolled his eyes. Great, now he made the kid cry. What kind of person makes a kid cry like that? Show of hands if it's Vlad.

"Don't cry Daniel," Vlad said as he attempted to keep his eyes on the road. The kid was so distracting it was driving him insane.

Daniel sniffed, "It's okay for you to call me Daniel, but I can't call you V-man," Danny tried to wipe the tears from his face, but more kept coming, "You're mean," he said with a choked sob.

Vlad sighed. Maybe his Great-Grandmother was right, he couldn't take care of a kid. No! He couldn't think that way! She was insane and was bound to die at any moment.

"I didn't mean to yell," he said slowly. Danny continued with the water works. Vlad sighed in defeat, "You can call me V-man if you want to."

Danny sniffed again, "Really?" he asked.

"Yes," Vlad said, "Now could you 'please' stop crying?" he asked.

Danny smiled with his tear stained face, "Okay V-man!" he said happily.

"Good," Vlad said, "Now blow your nose," he told Daniel. Danny nodded and was going to blow his nose on his shirt, but Vlad stopped him by saying, "There are some tissues in the compartment in front of you." Danny opened the compartment and pulled out a small box of Puffs. He began to blow his nose on the first tissue that he pulled out.

Vlad kept his eyes on the road as Danny blew his nose on the tissue. Maybe now Daniel would take a nap after his little display of tears.

Danny screamed suddenly. Vlad jumped in his seat and pulled over into the grass. "What is it?" he asked the four year old.

"My arm!" Danny screamed. Vlad looked at Daniel, there was no arm. Wait, there was 'no' arm. His right arm was missing!

Vlad obviously didn't find this as shocking as Daniel, because he merely watched as Danny wiggled around in his seat. It was easy to tell that he knew what was going on.

"My arm's been chopped off!" Danny screamed as he held onto his shoulder, "I'm going to die!" he yelled.

"Calm down Danny," Vlad told the four year old. "I'm dying!" Danny screamed dramatically.

"Your not dying," Vlad informed Danny. He knew that Danny wasn't in any sort of danger, so he just sat in the vehicle watching. 

"I'm armless!" Danny cried out.

"No your not," Vlad said when Danny's arm returned from it's former state. "Yes I a-," Danny cut himself off when he noticed that his arm was back. Danny grabbed onto it and started to pinch it with his other arm. Danny looked up at Vlad with a worried face, "What happened?" he asked Vlad.

Vlad smirked and leaned back in his seat, "You see Danny," he begain, "There is something special about you and I..."

oOoOoOo

what didja think? was it to long, to short? how bad were the spelling and grammar errors? ANSWER ME! (coughs) didn't you hate that guy at the gas station? i didn't like him at all. i created him for the sole purpose of hating... and also to show a little bit of Vlad's thoughts on things. i thought that the part about the haunted bathroom was funny because when i was young, i was terrified of the toilets at gas stations and restarants because they were so loud when you flushed them. neways, i'm sorry, but i'm not entirely sure if i can finish this fic. it's like a curse. i can write one shots and short stories, but after the third chapter of a story, things start to go down hill. that's why i need your help! reviews give me inspiration! eleven reviews is what caused me to write this chapter, just think of what more could do! plus, i'm trying to prove to a friend that i can get past three chapters. i really hope to finish the story though. well gots to go bye!

Deadlydoodlebug: ...can you record Avatar for me this Friday?...Please?...THANKS! 


	3. Skulker's Lesson and Bedtime Stories

Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom or Packers stuff okay? So leave me alone!

Also, I messed up when I spelt Wisconsin on the last chapter. When I made the chapter I spelt it as 'Winsconsin'. I knew that it looked funny, but I couldn't figure out what the problem was. I'll fix it though...someday.

oOoOoOo

"There is something special about you and I, Danny," Vlad said, "Do you know what it is?" he then asked.

Danny shook his head in a 'no' gesture.

"We are half ghosts," Vlad stated. Danny sat there for a moment. Vlad decided to say nothing, so that his sentence could sink in.

Danny's eyes began to water again, "I don't wanna be dead," he said.

Vlad sighed. This might take a while. "You're not dead," he simply said.

Danny looked confused for a second, "But you said that I was."

"No I didn't," Vlad denied, "I said that you were half ghost. That's why your arm disappeared and then reappeared," he explained.

"...," Danny sat quiet for a few seconds, "Can you do that too?" he asked. Vlad nodded and made his hand disappear.

Danny seemed to cheer up a bit by knowing that he wasn't alone, "I'm not the only one?" he asked. "No," Vlad replied and Danny smiled.   
"What else can I do?" Danny asked excitingly. Vlad seemed a bit surprised that Danny could pass off something like this so easily. It was possibly because he had a short attention span and was so innocent.

Vlad rubbed his beard in thought, "It really depends," he started, "Since your so young and you don't have any experience in your ghost powers, you can probably only turn invisible and go intangible."

Danny's eyebrows furrowed, "What's entengible?" he asked. Why was this man useing so many big words anyway?

"It means to go through things," Vlad explained, "Like walls and trees."

"Cool!" Danny was amazed, "What can you do?" he asked.

"Make shields, fire ectoplasmic beams, and among other things," Vlad replied. Danny didn't know what ectoplasmic meant, but it sounded cool.

"Can I do those things too?" Danny asked the billionare.

"In time I can teach you," Vlad stated, but then added, "However, you must never tell anyone about your powers. It has to remain between you and me."

Danny understood perfectly, "Kinda like Spiderman, right?" he asked.

Vlad nodded, "Yes," he replied. Although Danny's understanding was limited, he seemed to grasp the concept. "How do I do that again?" Danny asked. 

"Try to concentrate on your hand disappearing," Vlad said, "It might take a while for it to actually disappear, but it will happen." Danny's tried to make his hand disappear, but the only thing that he managed to do was turn his face red. "Don't strain yourself," Vlad said and started up the car. 

He was glad that Danny didn't ask how he got his powers, becaue Vlad wasn't certain how he should answer it. He knew that Danny's ghost abilities were caused from Jack and Maddie's portal, but the four year old Danny didn't know that and might begin to question something that Vlad couldn't answer.

oOoOoOo

"Wake up," Vlad poked the little boy. Danny stirred in his sleep. Vlad poked him again, "Wake up little badger."

"Leave me alone sissy," Danny mumbled and smacked Vlad's hand away. Vlad unbuckled Danny and lifted him out of the car. Danny woke up from the shift in gravity.

"Huh?" Danny looked up to see Vlad's face instead of his sisters, "V-man!" Danny shouted, immediately awake. He wiggled out of Vlad's arms and landed on the ground.

Danny checked out his surroundings. It was nightfall and the two were in front of a big building that resembled a castle. "Cool!" he shouted gleefully at the sight of the slightly medival looking building. 

"Is this were you live?" Danny asked Vlad. "Yes," Vlad said, "We will be staying here for now." 

Danny grabbed Vlad's hand again as they went inside the large building. Danny turned his head to many of the different things inside. All of the decor was green and there was alot of football stuff around.

"Do you want to go to bed or get something to eat first?" Vlad asked Daniel. Danny looked up at Vlad, "Can I have some icecream?" he asked. 

"Of course," Vlad said and lead Danny to the kitchen. It was a very large kitchen. There were more cabnets, counters, pots, and pans in the room than the amount of times Jack shouts 'Ghost!' each day.

Vlad fixed Danny a bowl of icecream, and made himself a turkey sandwiche. He hadn't had much to eat after the McDonald's incident and was starved.

Right before Vlad had the chance to take a bite of his sandwiche, red mist came out of his mouth and Skulker walked through the wall that was behind Danny.

Vlad almost let out a cry of despair. All he want to do was eat his sandwiche.

Danny turned around to see what Vlad was looking at. Danny screamed at the site of Skulker and fell out of the stool that he had sat upon.

"G-ghost!" Danny cried out and hid behind a counter.

"I see that the syrum worked," Skulker said when he saw the four year old.

"Yes," Vlad said in exasperation, "Why are you here Skulker?" he asked the ghost with the flameing hair.

"I came to see if there was anything else that you wanted me to do and if you were going to hold your end of the bargain," Skulker answered.

"Of course I was going to!" Vlad raised his voice in annoyance, "I just didn't expect you to come so soon!"

Danny walked over to Vlad and pulled on his pant leg.

"Do you know him?" Danny asked. 

"Yes," Vlad said dryly, "Sometimes I wish that I didn't..."

Skulker growled, "I came here for the equipment, not to be insulted!"

"It's in the lab," Vlad said, "In the red box, take it and leave," Vlad told the ghost.

Skulker began to fly away, but was stopped by the sound of Danny's voice. "Your head is on fire," Danny stated quite plainly.

Skulker turned to the four year old and raised a nonexistant eyebrow, "I know, and your short," he replied.

Danny looked affended for a moment, "Your really fat!" Danny yelled to the ghostly hunter. Nobody, especially this guy, was allowed to make fun of his height. 

Skulker growled. He was 'NOT' fat! Every bit of him was muscle! Well... since he is a small ghost in an iron suit, he didn't have any muscles, but the child didn't need to know that. "You're what? Three? You really shouldn't get into arguments with someone who is smarter and 'bigger' than you," Skulker told Danny.

Now Danny was really mad. He might not be the smartest or strongest four year old, but he did have two things that he was very proud of: Spunk and Large Temper Tantrums. 

Danny screamed in rage, "Your a stupid, ugly doo-doo head! And I'm not three! I'm four! I'm a big boy!" Danny yelled at Skulker. Although Skulker and Danny had many differences, they both had the same thought going through their minds: by the end of this fight, someone was going to get hurt.

Vlad stood in the sidelines. He was very amused and eating his sandwiche. He had never seen Skulker act so immature, much less fight with a four year old. He had also never seen Young Daniel so angry at such a trivial thing, then again, this was the first time Vlad had seen a four year old Danny with a tantrum. Vlad did not plan on interfereing with the two's exchange unless Skulker went a bit too far and tried to hurt Danny. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

"Shut up, you three foot tall monkey!" Skulker yelled to the four year old. Danny's face turned red with anger. 

Running over to the counter, Danny grabbed his bowl of icecream and chucked it at Skulker. Skulker turned intangible and let the bowl pass through him. 

Danny was to angry to think straight. He didn't care if this guy was a ghost or not. He insulted Danny and had to go down. This being Danny's only reasoning, he charged at the metallic man. "I'm not a monkey!" Danny screamed when he was at the foot of Skulker and kicked his leg.

"Oh. That tickled," Skulker said and picked up Danny by the back of his T-shirt and lifted him up enough so that the two were face to metal face. Danny tried to hit Skulkers face with his tiny fists, "I'm gonna get you!" Danny screamed at the top of his lungs. His attempts were futile because, he wasn't close enough to hit Skulker's face.

Skulker put on a smug smirk, "You are much weaker than before," Skulker stated. He felt so much better to be on the dominate side of fights.

Danny, still held up by Skulker, realized that fighting the iron giant was futile. He would have to beat this ghost by other means.

Danny's lower lip trembled and his eyes started to water up. "I'm scared of heights. Please put me down," Danny whispered and began cring to his fullest extent.

Vlad frowned. He couldn't believe that Skulker made Danny cry like that. Vlad growled and glared at the flaming haired ghost.

Skulker caught the look and feared for his life...err, afterlife. "Uhhh...," Skulker did know what to do, so he just put Danny back on the ground.

Danny sniffled a few times and wiped the tears from his eyes, "I thought that you was going to hurt me," Danny said to Skulker with a confused look.

Skulker began to sweat, "Uh, of course not...umm...". It was safe to say that Skulker didn't know much about kids. If he did, then he would have known what would happen next.

Danny picked up his bowl and walked back over to Skulker. "What's your name?" Danny asked innocently.

"Skulker...," the ghost said flatly.

Danny waved his hand to Skulker, "I'm Danny. Come here, I wanna tell you a secret," Danny whispered.

Skulker was surprised, but nonetheless, he crouched down to Danny, "What is it?" he was quite curious as to what the four year old might know. Then again, this was a four year old so it might be something very trivial.

Danny took this opportunity to hit Skulker on the head with his empty bowl while screaming, "I'm not a monkey!"

Skulker growled. That really did hurt! 

Vlad felt that now was the moment to intervene, so he dashed to Daniel and picked him up, "Skulker, control your anger," Vlad told Mr. Flaming-Head, "He's only four. I would think that even someone like 'you' would know that argueing with him is pointless!"

Skulker glared at Danny with an intense gaze. Danny countered by sticking out his tongue to the hunter.

"I'll be leaving now," Skulker said to the two and walked through the nearby wall.

Vlad felt relieved that Skulker had left on his own accord. 

The billionare turned his attention to Danny, "Be careful when you pick your fights, Danny. I might not be there to help you if you do," Vlad told the child that was in his arms.

Danny smiled, "Okay, V-man!" he said and giggled.

Vlad felt a grin forming across his face, "Other than that, I think you really taught him a lesson," he then set Young Daniel back onto the ground.

Danny frowned for a moment, "I hope he puts out that fire on his head soon," he said worriedly, "He could get burnt really bad..."

"I wouldn't worry much about him, he'll be fine. By the way, do you like football?"

oOoOoOo

Vlad was getting a little tired from watching a child that seemed to have an endless supply of energy. So he found an easy solution to his little problem.

He took Danny on a tour of the house (err...castle really) in the hopes that maybe he would get tired. This was not the case though, because Danny had took a nap in the car and was mesmerized by the sheer quality of the house. So it seemed impossible for the child to get even -nearly- as tired as Vlad was.

It wasn't until Vlad was showing Danny his Packers collection, did the four year old yawn. Even though Vlad was a little angry that Danny was bored because of his Packer's collection, he still found relief that Young Daniel was tired.

Seizing the opportunity, Vlad scooped up Danny and led him to the guest bedroom, which would soon become Danny's permenant room.

"It's late," Vlad told Danny, "It's time for you to go to bed."

Vlad had the boy change into some pajama's before laying him down onto the bed.

Danny rubbed his eyes and groaned, "I don't wanna go to bed. I'm not sleepy," Danny tried to say as he repressed a yawn.

Vlad cursed in his mind. Finally, Danny had gotten tired, but he was fighting the sleep off. What kind of cruel world was this?

"Can you tell me a bedtime-story?" Danny asked Vlad. Vlad frowned deeply. He was tired, he was agitated, and he did not know of any bedtime stories! Why was the world suddenly asking him for the impossible? 

Danny's eyes shimmered hopefully, "Please tell me one, V-man," he said.

'Aw, what the heck,' Vlad thought to himself, who could deny the kid of something so simple? Besides, there was a first for everything, and this was going to be Vlad's first time at telling a story.

Since Vlad didn't know of any stories, he decided to wing it. 

Vlad rubbed his beard in thought, "Hmmm...Well, let's see. Once upon a time, there was a man who was really good at football-," Vlad's sentence was cut short by Danny's voice.

"I don't wanna hear a football story," Danny whined, "Tell me a story about wizards and magic and stuff," Danny then added, "Please?"

This might be even more difficult then he had first thought. Was it possible for the 'Evil' Vlad Plasmius, capable of telling a magical story filled with elves and wizards?

"Once upon a time, there was a fairy...," Vlad started. Okay, so maybe he was capable of telling a 'magical' story.

"Who's name was...uh...Henry, who...um...was helping his friend George, The Wandering...um...Sage, with a new type of ghost weapon, that could make you all powerful," Vlad continued. Well, maybe his story telling skills were a bit limited.

"The two snuck into a...compound that was heavily guarded by millions of...uh...unicorns that could shoot ectoplasmic beams from their eyes!" Vlad seemed to be getting more into the story then Danny was, because the four year olds eyes were having trouble staying open while Vlad carried on his merry little way.

"Henry, the fairy, sprinkled his 'ecto' magic onto the unicorns, while George snuck into the fortress. Henry knew that he had to keep the unicorns distracted, so he continued to sprinkle on the ecto magic. This magic would make the unicorns confused and start fighting each other...," Vlad ranted on and on about these 'amuseing' tales of magic for nearly an hour. 

He didn't stop until he noticed that Danny had fallen asleep sometime in the story.

Vlad sighed, he couldn't believe that Danny fell asleep right before the climax of the story. Ah well, he was tired himself.

Vlad didn't waste any time by getting ready for bed and lying down himself. Finally, he could get his much deserved rest.

Vlad shut his eyes. Him and Daniel still ruled the world. It was a beautiful world, too. A world were the law was to wear cheese hats everyday and penguins were used as transportation devices. Maddie was with him, too. She was making her famous cheese waffles with cheese syrup. 

Daniel and him were laughing because of something that Walker had said right before shadows covered his paradise. 

"What's going on?" Vlad asked to no one in particular. The darkened sun developed a sneering face that had rows and fanged teeth and red gleaming eyes.

"I'm going to eat you...," the sun growled in a sing-song voice.

Something slammed onto Vlad's stomache and he screamed in terror...

oOoOoOo

What didja' think? Please tell me! Umm, sorry that the chapter is short. Ah well. Um, thanks to all those who offered to beta, but I'm afraid that I will have to decline since I have no clue what the word means. I've heard it used often, but I never really understood what it meant. Thank you, reviewer number thirty five for inspireing me. I'm sorry that I forgot your name, but I still thank you for your positive influence. Now, the first person, who can guess where I got that bedtime story thing from, gets a piece of cake! 


	4. Sanity is Always Slipping Away

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom! If I did, I wouldn't be writing this... I'd make an episode out of it.

I finally broke my writers block thanks to over 1,000 hits on this story and giving it more reviews then any of my other stories. THANK YOU!

oOoOoOo

"GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Vlad yelled when he felt something impact his stomache as his eyes snapped open.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Vlad heard another scream as he yelled. This scream however, was high pitched. 

Vlad stopped hollering and turned on his bedside lamp. He turned his head in many different directions, but he couldn't find the source of who had screamed and hit him on the stomache.

Vlad looked down from the edge of his bed, only to find a blue eyed child with a tear stained face, looking up at him.

He sighed in relief. He had thought it was some horrible monster or ghost that had 'attacked' him.

"What are you doing here, Danny?" Vlad questioned the four year old on the floor.

Danny stood from his former position and wiped his face clean with his sleeve, "I had a nightmare and got scared," Danny with a small voice.

Vlad raised an eyebrow and paused in thought, "So did I, but how did you get here?" Vlad asked the troubled child. He hadn't shown the boy where his room was. How did he manage to get all the way over here?

"Your door was shiny," Danny answered.

Well, his door was painted in a way to make it look like silver.

"Can I sleep with you?" Danny asked Vlad with his hopeful face.

Vlad had always dreamed of sharing a bed... with Maddie. This was very different though. Come on, the two of them were guys. Wouldn't that be considered...uh...wrong?

"Please?" Danny begged. He didn't want to be left in a big scary room by himself.

Well, Vlad was without a doubt straight, and Danny was just a child, so it should be okay.

"I...suppose so," Vlad said carefully. He knew that he should have read 'Parenting for Dummies' book. If he did, then maybe he would know what to do, but nooo...he thought that he could handle it.

Danny squealed in glee and hopped onto Vlad's bed. 

Vlad could hear himself crying in his mind. He was tired, he really didn't want the kid to drool on him in the middle of the night.

Danny dove under the covers and cuddled up to Vlad. 

Vlad twitched. He wasn't much of a 'touchy touchy, feely feely' kind of person. He liked his personal space.

"Why don't you sleep over there?" Vlad pushed the child to the other side of the bed.

Danny groaned in protest, "I don't wanna... There are monsters over there..."

"No there's not," Vlad replied and layed back down onto his pillow.

"Yes there is!" Danny whimpered and crawled back over to Vlad.

"Who says so?"

"Sissy. She said that they'll use their arms and grab you when your asleep. Then they'll trade you to aliens for eyeballs," Danny replied and cuddled back up to Vlad.

Vlad rolled his eyes. What other things did his sister stuff into his brain? No wonder the child was so bad at learning, there wasn't enough room in his head for anything else. Vlad looked at Daniel, half expecting to see letters pouring out of the child's ears.

"Fine," Vlad said flatly and moved to the edge of the bed.

Danny rubbed his head into Vlad's shirt, "Hey, don't wipe your nose on my shirt," Vlad said sternly.

"But I wasn't," Danny defended. Vlad sighed... this was going to be a long night.

oOoOoOo  
Fifteen minutes later.  
oOoOoOo

Vlad growled again when he felt a foot kick his back.

This was terrible. Danny had managed to go back to sleep, but even in his dreams, he couldn't stay still. Danny had been repeatedly kicking or squirming. It was nerve wracking.

In defeat, Vlad got out of the bed and searched through his closet for extra blankets and pillows. After he had found them, he made a pallet on the floor and tried to make himself comfortable.

He could hear Daniel talking in his sleep while he was laying on the floor.

"No...I don't wanna go to the play pen...nooo...," Danny whined and continued to squirm in his sleep.

Vlad was on the brink of sleep when something fell ontop of him.

"Oof!" Vlad managed to sputter out when child landed on him. Amazingly, Danny was still asleep.

Vlad pushed the four year old off of him and checked his glow-in-the-dark watch. It was three in the morning! What did he do to deserve this? Sure, he was evil and did some pretty bad stuff, but all-in-all, he didn't do anything bad enough to receive this.

The billionare clutched onto his blankets and rolled to the other side of the room. He was to lazy and tired to get up and move his bed. The blankets were wrapped around him tightly, so if someone was looking in the room, they would see a Vlad Masters Burrito Supreme.

"I hate fish...," Danny could be heard complaining beneath the bed. Somehow, he managed to roll under there.

Vlad chuckled to himself, he was so tired the everything was a hundred times funnier. Even his wardrobe seemed funny. Was he going insane? No..he was just tired.

oOoOoOo

The kid was driving him to the brink of insanity! How did Maddie and Jack manage to watch him day in and day out? What did they have that he didn't? He had the money and ghost powers! That is all that should be needed, right? Wait, perhaps they 'did' have something that he didn't have... experience. Yes, they had a daughter before they had Daniel, so parenting must have been easy for them.

Vlad watched as Danny ran around the room, pretending that he was a cowboy and knocking over many items on the tables. The kid couldn't sit still for a moment. Was he himself that energetic at that age? He couldn't remember.

The billionare walked up to Daniel and picked him up from around the waist. He then began to poke the child in the back.

"What're you doing?" Danny giggled at the touch, he was very ticklish.

"I'm looking for an off switch," Vlad continued to prod the squirming child.

Danny cackled when Vlad poked him in the side, "Stop it V-man!" Danny choked out. Vlad then stopped and put down Danny.

Danny squealed and ran off into the hallway.

Vlad sighed in exhaustion. He didn't get much sleep last night, and it was tough trying to keep up with a four-year-old.

He cried to himself in his mind. He wondered if fate was having fun. His life ruined by a lab accident that cost him much time in a hospital bed and Maddie. His plans for domination crumbled. And now, a hyperactive four-year-old that couldn't even stay still when asleep was putting his sanity to the test.

Vlad rubbed his white beard in thought, maybe he could prescribe the child some Ritlin (sp?). That would surely calm the child down. If that didn't work, then maybe he could give Daniel coffee. He had always been told that if you give a hyper child coffee, it will actually slow them down instead of speed them up. It might have been just a rumor though.

Perhaps he was overlooking the problem. Perhaps the child didn't need drugs or caffeine to calm down, perhaps there was another solution.

Picking up the phone in thought, he dailed a number that was somewhat familiar to him.

It seemed as though no matter how many times he swore not to call, he always would wound up calling again. This being one of those cases.

The line rung for a bit, before someone picked up the phone.

"Hello, this is Vlad Masters speaking, is Marylyn there?" Vlad found himself saying again.

". . . .," No noise was heard from the receiver.

"Hello?" Vlad said again, annoyed.

"Are you dying or somethin'?" his great-grandmother asked him.

An expression of confusion passed across Vlad's face, "Nooo. . .I just called to ask you something."

"You already asked me somethin' yesterday, so don't ask me another today!" Marylyn growled.

"Uhhh," his grand-mother could be scary when she wanted to be.

"Oh!" a loud exclamation was heard, "So you want me to come down huh?"

Vlad gasped in shock. He most-certainly-did-not want her to come to his house, "No! No! It's fine re-"

Vlad was cut off by a squeel of glee that he didn't know his great-grandmother was capable of, "I'll be down in a few hours. You do have a spare bed right? It doesn't matter, I'll sleep on the floor if I haff' to. I'll also be bring'in Mark. You haven't met your great-grandfather Mark yet, have ya'? He's stiff and lazy, so I'm sure that the two of you will get along just fine! Well, I gotta get packin', so stay put!"

A loud 'Clang!' came from the receiving end of his phone, signalling that the conversation was over.

Vlad's face twisted in what may have seemed to be a pained look. He dropped the cordless phone to the floor and raised his head to the ceiling, while screaming dramatically, "WWWHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

oOoOoOo

Marylyn cursed under her breath as she packed some of her panty-hose in a suit case, "Get your things together Mark! We're going over to stay at my great-grandson's house for a while!"

Mark gave no answer. He was still sitting in the living room chair.

"Get off your lazy arse and get moving!" Marylyn screached, "We have to get there before he tries to run away like last time!"

Mark paid no heed to her warning.

"Damn no-good-for-noth'in husband," Marylyn cursed again as she picked him up by the roots and dragged him outside along with her suitcase.

oOoOoOo  
Whoot! I updated! Yay for me! Uh, yeah, there will be more to come. . . .hopefully. Just so you know, I've never gotten to a fourth chapter before! Oh and just so you know, Vlad's great-grandmother is based upon my own grandma. She isn't insane, but she does have a temper! Oh, and sorry that this chapter is so short. I promise that the next one will be longer, even if it is only by a few words. 


	5. The Terror Arrives

Whooo! Here's an update for you guys! I hope you'll enjoy this one!

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom and no old ladies were harmed in the making of this fanfic.

oOoOoOo

Vlad pulled harder on the four-year-olds arm, "Stop being so stubborn! We have to go now!"

"But I don't wanna!" Danny whined as he grasped the doorway with his free hand.

"If we don't get out of here soon, you'll never know the meaning of the word sanity!" Vlad continued to try to pry Danny off the doorway, so that the two of them could make a run for it. His great-grandmother was bound to come any minute now and Vlad planned on getting to China before she pulled into his driveway.

"But they have dragons down there!" Danny tried to get the billionare to understand. Didn't Vlad know that there were giant dragons in China that ate little boys?

"Your sister lied to you Danny! There are no dragons in China!" Vlad attempted to get the child to listen to him, but Danny had to much faith in his sister in order to believe what Vlad said. Vlad pulled harder on Danny arm. Jeez, this kid was strong.

"Ahhh!" Vlad yelled when Danny's arm disappeared. He fell backwards and landed on his rump. Vlad looked up to see that Danny's arm had reappeared.

Vlad stood up from his former position and dusted off the back of his pants, "It appears as though you've tapped into your power's again," he informed the child.

Danny looked at his arm in awe, "That was so cool!" Danny said excitingly.

Vlad smirked, Danny was so eager to learn more about his ghost powers, it was clear that bringing the child over to his side was going to be easy.

Vlad's train of though was interrupted when a knock of the door was heard. The nightmare, had arrived.

Not caring of the child's protest, Vlad picked up Danny and slung him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He would have to crawl out the window in order to make it out in time. Wait, he was half-ghost for goodness sake! He could just go intangible and fly throught he wall. It would probably scare Danny, but a little flight wasn't as scary as his great-grandmother.

Before Vlad could fly off, like he desperately wanted to do, the front door opened.

Vlad hissed in pain when he caught sight of the figure within the doorway, his eyes hurt so bad.

The figure appeared to be a woman, although it was hard to tell with all the wrinkles on her body. She was wearing a green dress with pink flowers decorated on it, she also had her white hair tied in a bun. She wore open-toed sandals that showed to the world her fungus ridden toe-nails. Her fingernails were yellow and chipped. She had a bit of a slouch in her spine and she smelt like old people. . .and soap.

She was also carrying a suitcase, a purse, and a tree stump.

Vlad stared at Marylyn.

Marylyn stared at Vlad.

Vlad could feel his eyes burning.

Marylyn put down her suitcase while glaring at Vlad.

Vlad's eyes began to water in pain.

Marylyn burped and scratched her stomache.

Vlad coughed when the smell of her breath wavered over to him.

Marylyn noticed Vlad's discomfort and burped again.

Vlad choked on the stench and fell to the floor.

"Ahhhhh!" Danny yelled when Vlad dropped him onto the ground and fell ontop of him, unconcious.

Danny crawled out from under Vlad and looked up at the old woman. Danny smelt something bad the moment he stood up, "Lady, you need a breath mint," Danny told the old woman. 

"Yeah, your right!" Marylyn said and pulled some peppermints out of her pocket and popped one into her mouth, "Are you Vlad's kid?"

"No," Danny shook his head in reply.

"How old are you?" she asked the kid.

"Four and a haff'!" Danny said proudly as he held up three fingers.

". . . ." Marylyn paused for a second, "God, your old. . ."

oOoOoOo

Vlad felt himself reconnecting with the world. His eyes still closed, he let his mind wonder.

Did he just pass-out? But why would he- Oh yes, that right, his great-grandmothers breath. . . . Maybe if he lied there for a while, Marylyn might think he died and she would leave. Wait! What about Daniel? What happened to the child? Was he with Marylyn? If he was, then he would need to be rescued as soon as possible! He couldn't let the poor child be tortured by her like he was himself.

oOo  
Flashback  
oOo

A six year old Vlad danced around his great-grandmother's grassy lawn.

Okay, so he stole and ate everyone's cookies. He was hungry at the time, besides they could always make more, right? It was no big deal, right? So, why did his great-grandmother put frogs in his pants?

She told him that he could eat dinner if he got the frogs out of his pants. How was he supposed to get the frogs out if his hands were tied behind his back and his pants were taped to his body?

"Ewww!" Vlad said in disgust when he felt slimy legs crawl over his right knee. What kind of punishment was this anyway? Back home his mom and dad would give him spankings as punishment, but here, visiting his great-grandmother, she would do some pretty crazy things.

Some of which being: making him eat cow eyeballs, having him fish from a pond that was devoid of life, putting crickets in his bed, and now trapping wet, slimy frogs in his pants. What was with her? Dad did say that she was a little insane. The only reason that his family even took the time to visit her was because they wanted to be nice to her while she was still alive. Why should anyone be nice to a gumpy old lady who finds entertainment in getting apples from a tree with a car and stuffing his pants full of frogs?

"You can do it boy!" Marylyn laughed in her rocking chair when Vlad shook his legs in every direction, "All you gotta do is get 'em out!"

"I can't! You tied up my hands!" Vlad whined.

"Don't use excuses ya' ninny!" Marylyn laughed again, "Use those brains I fed you last night! They should help!"

Vlad gagged, "You told me that that was hamburger meat!"

"I lied!" his great-grandmother admitted, "Now, use those brains! Use 'em!"

oOo  
End Flashback  
oOo

Vlad shivered at the memory, it was because of Marylyn that he feared frogs. He wouldn't let Danny have a similar fate with that woman.

Vlad sat up from the ground and looked around the room. Marylyn and Daniel were nowhere to be found, but he did smell something delicious coming from his kitchen. Hmmm. . . his great-grandmother couldn't possibly be cooking, could she?

Vlad made his was to the kitchen and opened the door. 

Danny was sitting at one of the counters, swinging his legs back and forth. Marylyn was cooking at the stove and checking the oven. There was also a tree stump sitting in one of chairs.

Marylyn turned around to face Vlad, "So you finally woke up, huh? That's to bad, I was beginning to think that you died."

Vlad ignored her statement and pointed at the tree stump, "Why is that in my kitchen."

"OH!" Marylyn said excitingly and walked over the the stump, "This is my husband, Mark. I found him in the woods one day and took him home with me. I couldn't help it, he's just so handsome!" she said dreamily. Her face then turned serious, "He doesn't talk much though. Would you believe that he's a mute? Yeah, he's also has a leg disability, he can't walk very well, but that's alright, he's not much different from my last husband!"

Vlad stared at the stump with his mouth slightly agape. Danny giggled at Vlad's expression.

"I didn't know that you had a Great-Grandma!" Danny giggled again.

Vlad sighed and sat down in a spare chair, "What are you making?" he asked Marylyn.

"Cookies," Marylyn replied with a sly voice.

Vlad raised an eyebrow, "What kind of cookies?"

Marylyn pulled out a cookie sheet from the oven and tossed a cookie to Vlad. Vlad caught the warm treat and looked at it carefully.

"Can I have one?" Danny asked hopefully.

"Of course," Marylyn replied and handed Danny a plate of cookies. Danny squealed in delight and bit into a cookie without hesitation.

"What are these green things in it?" Vlad asked as he stared at the green speckled cookie.

"Sprinkles, now shut up and eat," Marylyn said to the billionare.

Well, 'all' of her food couldn't be bad, could it? Vlad shrugged and took a bite. It wasn't bad, but it did have a foreign taste to it that he didn't recognize as sprinkles.

"Guess what, Vlad?" Marylyn asked her great-grandchild. Vlad looked up from the cookie, "Those aren't sprinkles," she started, "They're grinded up frog legs!"

Vlad darted to the nearby trashcan and spit out whatever bits of cookie he had in his mouth. For a moment, he was vaguely reminded of the McDonald's incident. Vlad looked up at Marylyn, "Your insane," he stated.

"Why thank ya'!" she laughed, "And your a ninny!" she replied.

Vlad sighed and turned his head to Daniel, who was still eating his cookies, "Danny, don't eat that stuff," the last thing he wanted was Danny to get sick.

"But I like it," Danny complained, "They taste good"  
Marylyn smiled, "You like frogs, do ya?"

"Yeah!" Danny exclaimed.

"Well, I have a game that you can play!" Marylyn told Danny. Danny listened intently.

"All you have to do, is tape down your pants and tie your hands together. Then you get someone to put frogs in your pants and then you try to get them out. It's really fun, isn't Vlad?" Marylyn asked the billionare.

"That was disgusting and traumatizing!" he argued, "I don't understand on how anyone could consider that to be fun!"

Danny squealed, "I wanna try! I wanna try!"

"Ah well, you can always try later," Marylyn said, "I gotta leave in about five minutes."

"What? Are you going back home?" Vlad asked hopefully.

"Nope! I'm going to Las Vegas with Mark!" Marylyn said happily. Vlad sighed in relief. Well, it was good to know that she was leaving.

"Awww," Danny whined, this old woman was just starting to make things fun and now she had to leave.

"Well, I need to get going now if I want to get there before dawn!" she said and grabbed Mark by the roots again, "I seeya' two later, dudes!" she laughed and walked out the kitchen door.

Vlad rubbed his forehead, she only stayed for a few hours, but it felt like years. Vlad looked up at the kitchen window when he heard an engine rev up. Marylyn and Mark were popping wheelies on their new motorcycle while driving out of his drive-way.

Finally, the terror was gone and in place, a little hope. 

oOoOoOo

What didja' think? Oh yes, I have plans for the frog pants, plans indeed. Um, not to sure if this is shorter or longer than the last chapter. I tried to make it longer, but I wanted to end it right here so that I could do what I want to do with the next chapter. It's kinda strange, Jazz is always telling everyone that she's going to be a brain surgeon thing, but when she and Danny were little, she would tell the tallest of tales. (laughs insanely) Oh, yes, the torture will commense soon.

Reviews fuel my inspiration and my inspiration fuels my fanfics. 


	6. Down the Gutter You Will Go

Ha! I updated Tsurashi! You lose your bet! In your face!

Disclaimer: NO! I don't own Danny Phantom! I wish I did, but I don't, so LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT IT!

(sighs) I got so many reviews asking me, whether or not I was going to tell what was going on with the people in Amity. Such as Danny's parents, friends, teachers, etc. So, I decided to change settings for a while. Don't worry, it'll go back to normal soon, just be patient. I was going to wait and update when I got 100 reviews, but since everyone's reviewed themselves out, I'll just go ahead and post this chapter.

Somebody online told me that Skulker probably doesn't have any pants, but I did some research and found out that he DOES, in fact, have pants.

TO THOSE WHOSE FAVORITE GHOST IS SKULKER: You guys (and girls) will probably like this, since it has alot of Skulker in it.

This chapter is in celebration of over 2,000 hits and 99 reviews. Thank you my loyal readers. Yes. . . yes, bow to me! All hail my almighty power! ON YOUR KNEES YOU FILTHY DOGS! (coughs) Sorry, got a bit carried away.

oOoOoOo

The Ghost Zone was peaceful and quiet, aside from the occasional snores and the eerie music that one hears while within the realm. 

It was around 2:32 A.M. in the G. Z. Central Time Zone. Primitive and powerful ghosts alike, were sleeping in their oddly shaped homes at this late hour. Cozy within their own beds. Dreaming about the good or the bad, and fighting over sheets with things that did not exist.

Skulker, the widely known hunter, was no different from other ghosts.

On an island, in a poorly decorated cave, the flaming haired spirit slept. Dressed in his black, cotton pajama's. Snug in his warm fur blankets and feather mattress, he dreamt of all his heart's desires. What wonderful dreams they were, too. Successfully haunting earth, destroying Danny Phantom, overpowering his rivals, and getting a new security blanket (his was old and dirty).

Sucking on his left thumb, the feared ghost clutched on tighter to his blanket and rolled over on his side.

Popping his thumb out of his mouth, the spirit let out a deep rumble of snores from the back of his throat.

On his bedside table, the digital screen of a phone lit up. The screen read: Masters, Vlad - WI. Skulker did not notice it however, since he was still engrossed in his dreams. Seconds after, the phone began to emit a shrill ringing noise.

Skulker grumbled in his sleep and turned onto his stomach, ignoring the continuous ringing. After a few moments, his phone's voice mail activated.

"Skulker?" a gruff voice sounded from the reciever, "Skulker! Pick up the phone you bumbling idiot!" Skulker's snores easily overpowered the noise and at that instant, he dreamed of working at a pizza restarant, "PICK UP THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!" Vlad's voice yelled loudly out of the phone.

Skulker's snores came to an ubrupt stop. He bolted upright and scrambled out of bed, "I wasn't sleeping, I swear! I was just meditating!" he said with a weak salute. 

Turning his attention away from his unrealistic manager, Skulker noticed the insistant gibberish coming from the phone and picked it up.

"Hello?" Skulker said slowly into the phone.

Vlad Master's voice was heard, "About time! What took you so long? Nevermind, I don't want to know. Anyways, I need you to come to my place. I have a job for you."

The sentences that Vlad formed to Skulker, had went through one ear and out the other. He wasn't a morning person and was still half asleep, "Do you want anchovies with that?" Skulker blurted out.

"WHAT!" The voice yelled in question.

Skulker snapped out of his dream-like reality at the sound of Vlad's voice, "What do you want?" he demanded.

If Skulker had been standing in Vlad's living room, he would have saw the billionare roll his eyes, "I have a job for you," he repeated slowly. If Skulker had eyebrows, he would raise them in question.

"What kind of job?" he was interested in what the billionare had planned. Normally, whatever kind of job it was, was very exciting and/or fun. Like causing destractions, destroying millions of dollars of property, blowing up stuff, beating up people, and turning certain hybrids into helpless four-year-olds. Yes, he was 'very' interested.

"I need you to babysit," Vlad said bluntly.

". . . .," did he have wax in his barely visible ears or did Vlad just say 'babysit'?. "What?" Skulker asked, making sure that he had heard correctly.

There was a short pause and a nervous laugh over the phone, "Not really 'babysitting'. Think of it as. . . .standing guard or making sure something doesn't happen. You know, something simple like that."

". . . .," Skulker rubbed his goatee in thought, "Will I be paid for this task?"

"YES!" Vlad answered in a strained, quick voice, "Yes, of course. Um, how does three large boxes full of my latest weapons and gadgetry, sound?"

Okay, either something was up, Vlad was in a good mood, or he had gone insane. "What happens if I don't do it?" Skulker asked, he liked to fully understand things before he tried them.

" THEN I WILL DECAPITATE YOUR HEAD, FLUSH IT DOWN THE TOILET, AND TURN THE REST OF YOUR BODY INTO A DIAPER-CHANGING TABLE FOR INFANTS! "

Wow, what a threat, "It seems as though I have no choice then," he said sullenly. He could hear a sigh of relief on the other line, "What exactly am I 'watching'?" he asked. He pleaded to himself that it wasn't the brat. Not the brat. Not the brat. Not the brat. Anything, but the brat. Not the brat. Not the brat. Not the brat. Please, not the brat.

"Danny," Vlad said with a clearly-heard, sigh.

"Dammit!" Skulker growled and kicked his bare foot against his night stand, "OW!" he yelled at the shock of pain and fell back onto his bed.

"What was that?" Vlad asked. "Nothing," Skulker answered, "Fine, I'll be over in the morning."

"It is morning," Vlad pointed out. Skulker looked at his alarm clock, it read 3:06 A.M. He then recalled that human time and ghost time were different, practically opposite, "I hate you," he stated and hung up the phone without a second thought. It was only when he hung up the phone, he remembered that he forgot to ask Vlad where 'he' would be and how long the job would last.

Skulker cursed and rubbed his head in his sheets. Since the flames on his head and chin need some form of oxygen, they smothered and died. Skulker sat up and rubbed his bald head, "Dammit again!" he cried out and went to his bathroom to re-light his head.

oOoOoOo

Far, far away, on the human plane, people were being tortured, sold into slavery, killing each other, and having nervous breakdowns. In a town called Amity, on a sidewalk, three teenagers were having these breakdowns.

"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!" the gothic female, Sam, screamed in frustration.

Jazz, the older teen, tried to bring comfort to the girl, "Don't worry, I'm sure that Danny can take care of himself. He should be fine," she said with a little doubt in her voice.

The dark skinned teenager seemed to think otherwise, "What if he's dea- Gagh!" Tucker was cut off by Sam picking him up by his shirt collar and shaking him. "Don't you dare say that word!" she screamed in the techno-geek's face.

"Okay, okay! Mercy! Uncle!" he pleaded to his distressed friend. Sam dropped him on the ground, "I swear, if someone did anything to him- I'LL DESTROY THEM!" she threatened. People passing by them turned to stare.

Tucker ignored the stares, "Wow, Sam, I've never seen you so worked up. Are you sure that you and him haven't formed a 'relationship'?" Tucker asked. Sam was right about to strangle him, but Jazz intervined, "Knock it off you two. Let's stay focused."

Tucker and Sam grudgingly nodded in agreement.

"Okay, the police are still searching. Mom and Dad have formed a search party, and we've scouted the entire city of Amity and even explored all familiar parts of the Ghost Zone. Either Danny is out of town or in the unexplored parts of the Ghost Zone. Which one do we pick?" Jazz asked.

"Skulker would probably know if we could find him," Sam grumbled.

"Yes, there's also that," Jazz stated, "You two said that he was the last ghost that Danny fought and did something to him. He probably does know, but since we're not sure on where he is we'll just have to figure that out while searching."

"I bet that we could have found him or even Danny if you hadn't broke the Boo-merang," Tucker muttered to Sam.

Sam narrowed her eyes and pointed her index finger to Tucker, "That wasn't my fault and you know it!"

Jazz shook her head with annoyance, "I know that you two are upset because Danny has been gone for a little while, but that doesn't mean that you should go at each others throats."

"Little while?" Sam looked at Jazz in shock, "He's been gone for a week and you call it a 'little while'?"

"Fine, he's been gone for a long time and we're all worried," Jazz said in exasperation(sp?), "Anyways, back on subject, I think that our best choice would be to go back to Skulker's lair and root out the rest of the tunnels and caverns."

Sam grumbled under her breath. Tucker however, was able to understand her with his 'honed' hearing, "Hey! That place was scary! I'm not going back there! Nuh-uh! You can't make me!"

"Fine, you can just stay here and cover for us while we're gone," Sam told the paranoid geek. He nodded happily. Underground, spider-infested, caves were scary.

"Well," Jazz began, "Hopefully, we'll find Danny before Mom and Dad have a break down."

". . ." the three were silent for a moment.

Sam's right eye twitched. They hadn't seen Danny for almost a week, they hadn't found any clues to his where-abouts, and the chances of him still being alive after such a long period of time were slim-to-none. "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!" Sam cried out again.

"If anyone's having a break down, it's Sam," Tucker concluded.

Jazz nodded her head.

oOoOoOo

Skulker flew into the living room of the castle-like estate. He was so tired, maybe he would be able to take a short nap while he was here. The room was messy, littered with random objects and broken glasses, but the recliner in the corner of the room did look comfy. Just as he began to float towards the chair, the door on the left opened to reveal. . . a monster!

Skulker gasped at the sight of the horrid creature. The thing sluggishly moved towards him. Skulker screamed in fright, "Stay away from me!"

"Calm down you idiot," the thing said. For some reason, the voice sounded oddly familiar.

"Plasmius?" Skulker asked, unsure if this thing was his employer or not.

"Yes, yes, it's me," Vlad said tiredly. Well, now that you mention it, the thing did kinda look like Vlad. If you took away the unshaved face, knotted hair, dark-ringed bloodshot eyes, pale skin, purple jacket, red pants, unmatched shoes, and the distinct smell of fish, it looked exactly like Vlad.

Skulker looked on at Vlad in horror. Who or what could possibly cause Vlad to wind up like this? Vlad noticed the look on Skulker's face, but did not feel the need to enlighten him. "I will be gone for. . .," Vlad started and then paused, "A day perhaps. Maybe longer."

"Where will you be going?" asked Skulker.

oOoOoOo

About five minutes before Skullker said this, there were two little boys outside.

One had shocking red hair and a face full of freckles. The other had orange hair and pale skin.

The two were called the Nelson Twins. They lived near the boundaries of Vlad's estate and loved causing mischeif(sp?). It was on this day, that they decided to trespass on the billionare's property. They were just curious that day. They wanted to see what the old coot was up to. Any future plans for tormenting the man were temporarily put away.

So the two ran bare-footed across the green field of clover and grass. They stopped when they came to a window at the mansion.

Since conversations could easily be heard through the mansion's walls, they felt no need to look through the window and risk being caught.

The orange haired child, Johnny, giggled. The other boy, Jimmy, put a finger to his lips and placed his ear against the wall. Jimmy pulled out a pencil and note-pad out of his pocket. Johnny did the same.

Soon after they was situated(sp?) they heard a conversation going on between two men. They could tell that they were men because of their deep voices. They also recognized one of voices to be Vlad's. They had missed the first bit of the conversation, but they had no doubt that they would catch on soon.

"Where will you be going?" a deep voice could be heard.

". . ." there was a pause of silence, "Far away," another voice, obviously Vlad's, said finally.

The other man sighed heavily, "Fine, just- Hey, what's this?"

"N-no! Don't touch that!"

"AAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" a yell and a strange cracking noise was heard, "Ow."

"I told you not to touch it!"

"It wasn't my fault! How was I supposed to know it would do that! Hey, wait a minute. I'm stuck."

"You moron! Now look at what you've gone and done!"

"Stop yelling at me and help me get out of this thing! Ow! What the hell was that for?"

"For being an idiot."

Another crack was heard, but this one was followed by a 'THUD!'. "Ouch. . ."

"Great, now that your out, I'll be taking my leave."

"Alright, I'll just stay here then."

"You had better," the slamming of a door was heard.

Johnny and Jimmy pulled their ears away from the wall. Both had the same thought in their minds, 'Boy, Ma' sure aint gonna' believe this'.

oOoOoOo

I am beginning to master the art of the cliff-hanger. (chuckles evilly to self) Oh, and those two OCs, their not of much importance. In many of my humor fanfics, I have two little boys that cause trouble. I don't know why, but it appeals to me. Also, 'phantomshadowdragon' won the challenge! Congradulations, your right! The Pacifier 'is' where I got that idea from! (tosses cyber cookie to person) There you go! That's your prize! 


	7. Anger and Tears

A/N:  
Some people in the last chapter got a little confused. I don't know how they managed to do it, but they did. I read over it three or four times and found that it was completely legible, but either I'm stupid, or the people who read it are stupid. No offense to those who couldn't grasp it, but really 'how could you not'? (talks in a kindergarden teacher way) You see children, the two little boys, Johnny and Jimmy, were listening to Vlad and Skulker's conversation. It was NOT Johnny or Jimmy who said, "What the hell was that for?". It WAS Skulker. Do you understand? Are you still confused? No? Good. . .

Also, that part where it said:  
"Ow! What the hell was that for?" - Skulker  
"For being an idiot." - Vlad  
That part I did not take for Drake and Josh. It simply popped up in my head like a worm and manifested. Oh, yeah, and I HATE Drake and Josh. I can't stand those types of shows.

Now that that little bit is cleared up, we can begin were we left off. If some of you are still confused, then maybe you will understand in this chapter.

oOoOoOo  
Chapter 7  
--

"I will be gone for. . . .," Vlad started and then paused, "A day perhaps. Maybe longer."

"Where will you be going?" asked Skulker.

". . ." Vlad paused again, "Far away," Vlad answered finally.

Skulker sighed heavily, "Fine, just-," Skulker cut off when he spotted something shiny on the floor. Oooh. . .shiny, he liked shiny, "Hey, what's this?" He asked with curiousity and bent down to pick up the object.

Vlad gasped, "N-no! Don't touch that!" the man gasped out.

A spark of electricity could be seen when Skulker brushed his hand against it. Without warning, he was flung towards the ceiling with a surprising amount of speed. "AAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Skulker cried out as he soared through the air without a will of his own. 

CRACK!

"Ow," the flame-headed spirit managed to let out the syllable when his right boot came in contact with the ceiling. His boot was lodged deeply in the acursed wood and refused to move. Well, it was obvious that the object was some sort of anti-gravity/anti-magnet thingy (he didn't know what to call it so from now on, he shall refer to it as the 'Thingy') that had this sort of effect on him.

"I told you not to touch it!" Vlad yelled at the low-intellectual ghost.

Skulker gave a menacing growl as he hanged from the ceiling, "It wasn't my fault! How was I supposed to know it would do that!" Skulker shouted. He then attempted to pull his boot out, but to no avail. "Hey, wait a minute. . . . I'm stuck," Skulker said when he gave up on freeing himself from the object. True, he could have just turned intangible and soared down, but he was smarter at high tech weapons and hunting, not logic.

"You moron!" Vlad yelled fiercely, "Now look at what you've gone and done!"

Skulker could feel his face heating up, he really hated to be yelled at and insulted. It reminded him to much of his career as a pizza boy when he was still alive, "Stop yelling at me and help me get out of this thing!"

Vlad responded by picking up a random book off the floor and chucking it right at Skulker head. The book hit the target. 

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" Skulker yelled in rage and fury. Why was he always treated like this? Why couldn't he just get away? Oh yeah, because he got cool weapons and neat stuff.

"For being an idiot," Vlad said hotly.

Skulker would have made a made a comment to Vlad but didn't say anything because it was then that he felt the ceiling that he was in shift a little.

CRACK!

Another noise erupted from the ceiling and Skulker fell to the ground like an anvil.

THUD!

"Ouch," he muttered. Why did he even bother to say that anyway? He was made out of metal! He didn't have any nerves or weaknesses! How could he possibly feel any pain what-so-ever? Hmmm, maybe saying 'ouch' was more out of habit. . .

Vlad sighed heavily, "Great, now that your out, I'll be taking my leave," Vlad stated. He picked up his briefcase and walked to the door before he opened it.

Skulker remained on the floor, "Alright, I'll just stay here then," he said.

Vlad snarled, "You had better," he then walked out and slammed the door behind him.

Skulker laid on the floor for a few more moments until he heard the sound of Vlad's car hum and drive out of the estate. Skulker sighed he was starting to get tired. Again. Hmmm, where was that little brat anyways?

The spirit slowly picked himself up off the floor and looked around the room. The kid obviously wasn't there. Maybe he could check out the rest of the place.

A thought suddenly struck the feared spirit. Hey. . . he was in Vlad's house. He was in the fabulously 'rich' Vlad's house. Vlad wasn't here and all that stood in his way was a mere child. Yes, this was perfect. Let Vlad go and rest while Skulker raided his house and stole stuff. Yes, stealing was fun. . . .

Skulker let out a sinister laugh. Vlad would regret saying all those mean things to him. He would pay! He would get robbed and when he would return home, he would find nothing but-

Skulker's thoughts were cut short by the sound of a wail of terror coming from the second story of the the mansion.

Without any hesitation, he flew up through the ceiling and landed in the middle of a hallway. The wailing continued. Was that the brat making all that noise and fuss? 

The sound came from the door to his right. Skulker walked through it and found a strange sight.

In the blue painted bed-room, there was a small boy, with shocking, white hair and green eyes. He was dressed in a white and black jumpsuite and wailing at the top of his lungs. This wasn't the most curious part about the sight though, it was the fact that he floating. He was hovering just below the ceiling.

Skulker stood there for a moment. So, the brat could transform already. Perhaps he should be wary of the child. . . Nah, he was just a kid, what could he possibly do? 'Stupid brat,' Skulker thought to himself.

"Would you shut up!" Skulker yelled to the child. Seriously, that wailing was starting to make his ears ring.

The child closed his mouth and directed his watery eyes to the ghost.

"I'm stuck . . . ," Danny whimpered from above.

Skulker rolled his eyes, "Then float down," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

"H-how?" Danny stuttered. 

Sheesh! The kid didn't even know how to fly! This was going to be one hell of a babysitting service. Who ever heard of a half-ghost that couldn't fly properly? Well, if Vlad was expecting Skulker to teach the kid how to fly, he was in for a big surprise.

"If you won't float down," Skulker said to the child, "Then I'm sure that eventually you will fall down on your own." Well, Danny certainly couldn't stay in his ghost form forever, he was bound to run out of energy and fall sooner or later.

Danny began to wail again. He didn't want to fall! He would get hurt and Mommy wasn't there to kiss the boo-boos away!

"MOMMY!" Danny cried out, "I want Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" He was starting to feel homesick, he wanted his mommy and daddy and maybe even sissy. He wanted down from this high place! He wanted the stupid metal guy to go away! He wanted his mommy!

Skulker clamped his hands over his ears (does he have those?) in an attempt to block out the terrible sound.

"Shut up!" Skulker growled to Danny, "Your mothers not here!" Danny didn't listen and continued to cry.

"SHUT UP!" Skulker yelled at the top of his voice. Danny cried louder.

Being fed up the wailing, Skulker flew up to the child and plucked him from the air. Danny immediately shut up when he felt the cold, metallic hands wrap around his waist.

Skulker floated back down to the ground with the child. He was thankful that the child had decided to be quiet.

Skulker placed Danny back onto the ground and let him go. It was to his surprise that Danny began to float back to the ceiling when he was released. Danny screamed in fright when the floor left him. Before the child could get very far, however, Skulker grasped his leg and pulled him back down. Still yet, the child continued to float.

Skulker growled, he really hated it when rookie ghosts started to do this. It was pretty common for new and unexperienced ghosts to float constantly until they learned to fly, but it was troublesome and he didn't like to deal with it. 

The ghost pressed a button on his utility belt while the other still had a hold on Danny's leg. A compartment in the belt opened and he pulled out a rope that had an eerie green glow to it. Skulker tied one end of the rope to Danny's ankle and tied the other end to the bed post.

Skulker let go of the child. Danny yelped when he started to float up again, but he was stopped by the tug of the rope. The rope had kept him in place. He was still floating, but now he was only a two or three feet from the ground.

'Just like a balloon,' Skulker thought when he looked at the child hovering with the taunt rope.

"I'm still floating," Danny said bluntly.

"Of course you are," Skulker said to the child, "You'll stay that way for a bit until you change back."

"Change back?" Danny asked.

The child didn't even know that he had undergone complete cellular transmutation? If Skulker suddenly had white hair and his clothes changed for no apparent reason, he would certainly notice.

Skulker walked over to a table in the bed-room. He picked up a hand-held mirror and held it up to Danny's face.

Danny looked at it for a moment before realization dawned upon him. He gasped, "My hair! My eyes! They're different colors!" he screamed.

"You'll get over it," Skulker said to the hysteric child.

"My hair is white!" Danny continued, "I'm getting old, just like grandpa and Marylyn!"

Skulker felt the need to roll his eyes, but resisted. He had done that far to many times lately. Who was Marylyn anyway? "Your not old," Skulker stated, "Your only three."

Danny pouted, "I'm not three! I'm FOUR AND A HALF!"

"Whatever," Skulker mumbled before letting out a loud yawn, "Well, since your down, I think I'll take a nap," he said and was going to walk through the door but was stopped by the sound of a whimper.

"Don't leave me here," Danny pleaded to the ghost.

Skulker smirked, "Why not? Your not 'scared' are you?"

"No!" Danny yelled, "I'm a big boy! And big boys don't get scared!"

"Then why was you screaming at the top of your lungs when you were floating," questioned Skulker.

". . . ," Danny was silent.

"Just as I thought," Skulker chuckled.

Danny huffed, "Well, maybe I was a little scared, but it wasn't because I was floating! It was because I seen your ugly face. That could scare anybody!" This of course, was a lie, but Skulker didn't have to know that.

Skulker could feel his face heat up with anger. "Well you aren't so pleasant looking yourself!" Skulker shouted to the four-year-old and walked through the door without another thought.

Danny's eyes watered and tears streamed down his cheeks. "I hate you," Danny whispered and wrapped his arms around his legs. He cried and continued that way for quite some time. . .

oOoOoOo  
TBC  
oOoOoOo

A/N:  
Sorry that the chapter was so short, but I thought that this was a good place to put a cliffie. Honestly, I didn't plan for this chapter to turn out this way, but I'm kinda in a solemn mood and I felt that the chapter needed a bit of hate and crying to go around it. Actually, this entire fic isn't going at all like I first planned. My pre-writing for this says that Marylyn wasn't supposed to be included and that this chapter was supposed to be where Vlad and Danny go to the carnival and Danny gets bullied. I don't know how this fic turned out so different, but it did. I still haven't fixed my errors in the first chapter so I need my reviewers to tell me to get off my lazy ass and correct it. Also, sorry for the long wait, I've had a bad case of writers block and a bunch of homework at school. Again, sorry for Grammar/Spelling errors, but the only type of writing program that my Document Manager will take is SimpleText and it doesn't have any writing programs that will help me out. Another thing about it is, is that I have to put in the page breaks and other things the long way. Meaning, that when I'm trying to correct my errors in Document Manager I can't press the ENTER button twice and call it a 'break'. I have to add tags in order to put the sentences where I want them to go. So there's a high chance that this chapter didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. Oh, is there any author reading this that uses tags as well? If so, could you please tell me how to use the italics tags? I very much know how to start something in italics, but I can't stop it. doesn't supply the tag needed to stop it. To start italics I press, the LESS THAN button. Then I press "i" and then I press the MORE THAN button and it gives me italics, but I don't know the right tag to stop it. If someone could tell me, I would be grateful. Also, I work better when I'm on a time clock, so if you people wish for me to update, then you could tell me what day of the week you would like me to update on. Please note though that we probably live in different time zones so don't expect me to update right on the day that you choose and don't choose something stupid like "Update tommorrow!" because I can't pull something like that off in merely 24 hours. Which ever day is elected the most in my reviews, will be the day that I'll update on. I'll tell you which day I will do my updates on in the next chapter. Until then, good bye.

Sheesh, that's a long A/N! 


	8. Skulker's Punishment

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Danny Phantom, if I did I would make an awesome episode. I also don't own McDonalds, Twislers, or Burgerking.

Sorry folks, but it seems as though I didn't update as I had promised (I had a severe case of writer's block). Maybe I'll make it up to you guys sometime . . . then again- maybe not. I got Kingdom Hearts 2 for Christmas and that is what is to blame for the extended period of no-fanfics-from-me thing. Yeah, it's addictive. In fact, the only reason I'm on here is because I had to yank myself away from the tv screen before I beat the game (I'm trying to make the game last for as long as possible). If I don't update anytime soon; blame Kingdom Hearts 2. Yeah.

Someone told me that the last chapter wasn't very funny. So, perhaps this will be a bit better. I threw in alot of different things. Hope you enjoy!

oOoOoOo

Chapter 8 : Skulker's Punishment

oOoOoOo

Danny cried for a while after Skulker had left the room. It took a good fifteen minutes before his tears began to cease. It was around that time that he began to feel tired and not as 'weightless'.

To his joy, Danny began to steadyly float back to the floor. When that back of his heels touched the ground a ring formed around his waist immediately after. The ring split in half and while one ring went up his body, the other went down.

Danny watched the rings in amazement. This had happened before he started to float. Was he changing back or was something worse going to happen?

When the rings dissipated, Danny ran over to the mirror that Skulker had used and looked into it again.

He was normal again! He was young and not old like Grandpa! He no longer had white hair, but this was replaced by the dark raven hair that he had grown accustomed to. His eyes changed back from neon green to their baby blue color and he was dressed in the same clothes that he wore before he transformed. Which was a black shirt and a pair of blue jeans.

Before Vlad had left (which Danny did not know as of yet) he had seen fit that the boy needed a slight wardrobe change and replaced his red shirt with a black one. Danny didn't mind this of course, but it reminded him of something. Danny was still little and didn't understand the meaning of deja-vu, yet he could feel a trace of familiarity coming from the black fabric.

Danny tugged at the cloth with his hand. What was so special about it? It was just a shirt. So, why did it remind him of something? 'What' was it that it reminded him of? Danny couldn't remember, but there was definately something about it that was special.

Danny shook his head. He was thinking to hard. Daddy always told him not to think to hard or else he would probably hurt himself. And his father was most likely correct, since Danny began to get a head-ache.

Dismissing the shirt from his thoughts, Danny untied the loosely knotted rope and dashed out the room in search of 'V-man'. Maybe Vlad could tell him what Skulker was doing here. There was also the fact that Danny was feeling a little homesick and wanted Vlad to take him back home. Danny also needed to find Skulker to, so that he could give pay-back to the ghost, but that could wait until Danny found 'V-man'.

With these things running through Danny's mind he went in search for the white-haired man. Danny's attempts would prove to be unsuccessful, because Vlad was well on his way toward peace and relaxation.

oOoOoOo

After the argument that Skulker had with the child, he felt slightly rejuvinated. Argueing with children did leave you a bit annoyed, but for some reason when people/ghosts get into arguments they feel a little more 'energized' than they did before. This, of course, wears off, but it is still there nevertheless.

Knowing the quick solution to this dilema Skulker made his way into a large den that had a TV set within that rivalled the wall that it was set against. The den had many decorative pieces about it (still untouched by Danny's destructive hands) and there was a rather large, squishy chair before the the television.

Skulker walked over to the chair and sat in its comfortable embrace. He sighed, it was so comfortable but still yet, he was not tired enough to sleep. The argument still had him worked up.

There was a small wooden table to his right. Reaching over to it, Skulker found the remote to the TV and press the 'Power' button on it.

The TV screen flashed on soon after and the ghost began flipping through the channels. Skulker settled himself with the News Channel after a minutes search and gazed at the screen with mild interest.

A news reporter appeared on the screen. She looked to be a heavy-set woman in her early thirties, wearing a bright red skirt and blouse that caught anyone's attention.

After a pause of silence the woman began to speak:

**"Good evening, this is R.U.N. News and I am your host, Fanny McLard,"** the woman began. Skulker snorted at the name.

**"It is fifty-six degrees Fahrenheit outside and there may be a chance of thunderstorms later today.**

"Today, as many of you know, is the long awaited trial that is being held against the McDonald's company. For several of the past months, citizens throughout America have complained and attempted to sue the corporation due to the industry's lack of food nutrition and sanitation. The industry claims that the nutrition has been improved, but many others say that the sanitation rate has significantly dropped. Many customers complain about insects and in some areas, hair, being found in their food. When we interviewed the CEO of the corporation he stated that this was their new method of increasing their food nutrition. Ever since then, customers have fled from any of the McDonalds restaraunts and instead have taken a liking to BurgerKing."

Skulker shook his head, he hated the fast food industries. Linda McLard continued, **"It also seems as though there have been 'Apparition' sightings at the city of Nasea, Wisconsin."**

Skulkers ears perked up in interest.

**"Apparently, nearly a week ago ago, there was a ghost sighted in a local gas station by an employee. He stated that nearly immediatlely after two customers left the building, a ghost flew 'THROUGH' the wall and knocked him unconcious. When the witness awoke, he found himself with several bruises, a slight concussion, and a plunger impaled in his abdominal side. He was also found hanging from the ceiling by long strands of Twislers. The case is still being investigated, but so far there is no actual proof that a ghost had done this to the victim.**

"We have to stop now for a commecial break, but stay for our latest news update about a famous, rich man who is believed to be gay and a live interview with the man who's grandfather invented toilet-paper."

The screen then switched to commercial advertisements and it was then that Skulker decided that he had enough TV and turned off the glowing box. What kind of ghost would do that to a human anyways? _'Human's are getting stranger everyday,'_ Skulker thought. The ghost yawned and stretched before settling down into a comfortable position in the chair and drifting off into a deep slumber.

oOoOoOo

"V-man!" Danny shouted down another dark hall. Where had Vlad gone? He was there just a few hours ago. Where could he have gone? "V-man!" Danny screamed again, but just like the other attempts, the white-haired man did not come.

Danny scrunched up his face with worry. Did Vlad leave him? Did he leave Danny all alone to fend for himself?

Danny shook his head back and forth in denial, surely Vlad was here somewheres.

The four-year-old walked through many doorways and many halls until he found himself quite lost. It was a rather large mansion, after all. A small child such as Danny could easily find himself lost, such as he was now.

Danny soon found himself in a large shiny room that had many strange objects in it. The strangest of all, however, was a large circular doorway that was placed inside the room. The door was metallic and had an eerie green glow to it.

The room sent chills down Danny's spine and was about to leave the room when suddenly his attention diverted when he heard a familiar croaking noise. Danny curiously searched for the source of the sound and found a welcoming sight.

oOoOoOo

"Let go of me!" Skulker screamed when his manager at the pizza restaurant picked him up.

"Where you sleeping again?!" the manager asked in a solemn and ominous voice. He pulled the ghost up to his eye level. Skulker was the size of a small, newborn puppy compared to his boss's staggering height.

"NO!" Skulker said hastily, "I-I w-was just checking the counter for termites, I swear!"

"Really now?" asked the manager. The giant walked over to a nearby counter. Sitting atop the surface was a pizza box. With the manager's free hand he opened the box slowly. Inside was a greasy, cheesy pit of goo. Skulker screamed at the horrid sight.

"Are you hungry?" the manager asked in mock curiousity. Skulker shook his head violently and yelled at the top of his non-existant lungs.

"Here," the manager lowered Skulker towards the pit, "have some of my pizza. It will do you good . . ."

Without another word, the manager dropped the mini-Skulker into the goo. Skulker screamed in agony as he sunk into the hot grease. He could feel the goo sliding around his legs as he sunk deeper. It was as if he was in quick-sand.

Skulker tried to move his legs, but found that they were stuck. In fact, the more he moved, the grip of the cheese tightened and pulled him down into itself.

The manager laughed maliciously at Skulker's discomfort.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

oOoOoOo

Skulker snapped open his eyes when he awoke from his nightmare. His manager was gone. The pizza and horrid cheese had disappeared. All that was left was the room was the blank TV screen, the chair that he sat upon, and the other random, decorative objects that the room held.

Skulker sighed in relief. Everything was fine in his mind. Nothing out of the ordinary had occured.

Skulker felt something slippery slide over his left leg. He cringed at the familiar, and yet, unwanted feeling.

The ghost bent over and looked at the accused limb. Without warning, the fabric of his pant leg moved and rose into the air.

Skulker looked on in horror. _'What . . . is wrong with my leg?'_ Skulker thought uneasily to himself. It was after that thought when he heard a peculiar noise.

_'A toad?'_ Skulker thought wildly to himself.

"Ah!" Skulker cried out when he felt several- no, dozens- dozens of frogs beneath the cloth of his pants!

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Skulker leapt out of the chair and tried to pull off his lower garmet, but found to his own horror, that they were taped to him.

oOoOoOo

Danny giggled as he watched the ghost with the flaming hair dance across the room. It certainly was a good idea that he hid behind a potted plant. Without the coverage, there was a chance that he could have been caught by the ghost and terrible things could have occurred.

"Get out of my pants!" Skulker yelled and pulled at the tape that kept the pants on. Unfortunately, the tape was very strong and refused the come loose. Running out of ideas, Skulker did the thing that most male ghosts would do in his situation.

He unzipped his pants.

Danny laughed out loud, not caring if he was caught anymore, when the first frog hopped out of the front of Skulker's pants.

Like sheep, when the first frog hopped out, the others followed. It was as if it was a miniture waterfall; overflowing with slimy, green amphibians.

When the last frog had made it's way out of the pants and onto the carpet with it's own kind, Skulker stood with his eyes twitching.

Danny put his hands over his mouth the suppress his giggles. It was a good thing that he did so because Skulker was at a dangerous level of fury.

"I'M GOING TO KILL THAT BRAT AND PEEL THE SKIN OFF FROM HIS BONES AND USE IT FOR A RUG!!" Skulker cried out and stomped out the room, seething.

Danny watched in amusement and fear. _'I guess I should find a better hiding place,'_ Danny thought to himself.

TBC

oOoOoOo

A/N: Well, I have some rather good/bad news. It seems as though I am to get a job next year. A job . . . at McDonalds! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes! Feel the wrath of my insects of doom! Any flames sent to me will be used to heat the grease for french fries! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Seeya later taters! 


	9. Employees Are Murder

A/N: Wow, it's been about two years since my last update. So sorry for the extended vacation. There's really no excuse, but my _reason_ behind it is because I lacked inspiration for it until I was rereading my reviews out of boredom and I thought to myself "How many of these poor souls have I let down?!", not to mention that listening to music invigorates the Muses. So I gave myself a good kick in the rear and started on this little tidbit. I can't gaurantee that I'll update again since my interests have been focused on other things lately, but we'll just see how it turns out. Hopefully my skill with the pen (or keyboard) has improved over this long period of time and not dulled, but I'll leave that up to you to decide.

Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom so go form a lawsuit on someone else.

oOoOoOo

"Hello?" the voice of Vlad was heard from Skulker's phone.

"Where are you?" Skulker growled.

"Skulker? Is that you? How did you get my number?"

"I found your secretary and she gave it to me."

"Darnit! I hired her specifically so that she wouldn't give away my number to just anyone!"

" . . . She had some persuasion."

A sigh came from the other end, "I suppose you want me back?"

"No, actually, the child and I have become great friends and I'm going take him in as my own."

"Really?!"

"No! I am sick and tired of the child! He's driving me crazy! I've hardly gotten any sleep and he's trapped frogs in my pants twice this week, not to mention all the times he's dumped water over my head to 'save me from the fire'! I can't take it anymore! If you don't come over here _right now_ then I'll leave this _instant_!" Skulker yelled over the phone. He had a really bad headache and although yelling didn't help the headache at all, it felt good to find an outlet for his anger.

"Wait, wait!" Vlad said hastily, "You can't leave him there by himself!"

"So far, he's managed to handle himself pretty well. I don't even see the point of me being here."

"He's a danger to himself! He gets into everything! If you leave, he'd probably accidentally kill himself!"

Skulker recalled earlier that week when Danny almost chopped off his fingers when playing with the kitchen blender. Not to mention when the kid nearly stuck the end of a paper clip in an electrical socket. What was it with kids and sticking objects into dangerous things? "I think he'd be fine on his own," Skulker replied casually.

There was silence on the other end for a moment, then, "So, has he been causing that much trouble?"

In a dark tone, Skulker answered, "It's unbelievable that such a small thing can cause so much chaos. If such ability could be harnessed, then I could rule both worlds with it."

" . . . Well, I suppose you throwing a tantrum would be quite a sight to see."

"The kid keeps crying for his mom and dad too. It's grating my nerves," the ghost said ferally.

There was a pause of silence on the other end, " . . . Ha-has he been missing anyone else?"

Skulker smirked at the hopeful tone. Just to spite the man, he said "No, I don't think so."

"Oh . . ," was said in an almost despondant voice. Skulker wasn't usually this cruel, but he'd had a particularly bad day filled with sliding on mayonaise coated floors and it was true that miserary did love company.

"I don't see why you insist on keeping the child," said Skulker, "After this event, I'm never going to have kids."

"Ghosts can have kids?!"

"Anyway," Skulker changed the subject, "where have you been this entire time?"

"Caribbean. It's a bit too sunny and hot for my liking, but the palm trees are nice. It's strange to think that scientists have yet to discover a way to allow them to grow in cold climates."

"Having alot of fun?"

"Oh yes. I went scuba diving yesterday and it was beautiful!"

"Well, I'm glad that your having the time of your life. It's unfortunate that some people are stuck babysitting kids that like to torment them at every waking moment, causing the babysitters to be on the verge of homicide!"

" . . . Fine. I'll be there before the day is out," Vlad said resignatedly over the phone and they both hung up.

Putting down the phone, Skulker sighed and figured that he'd better locate the child before Vlad came back, just as soon as he could remember where he tied up the kid at last.

oOoOoOo

Vlad quickly packed his things and left his hotel, grumbling to himself about lousy subordinates. It was to his surprise when he met up with a familiar, but unwelcome, face while walking to his limo.

"Vlad Masters!" the annoying voice shouted.

The words 'oh, crap' and 'pest' floated through Vlad's mind as he tried to pretend he didn't notice the idiot of a man dressed in the usual tourist apparel(sp?).

"Hey Vlady! How's it going?!" Jack Fenton stood barely a foot away in front of him, making it impossible for him to pretend that they didn't know each other.

"What on earth are _you_ doing here? Wait, is Maddie here?" he asked hopefully.

The giant man pouted briefly, "Nah, she's already on her way home. See, our daughter convinced us to take a vacation down here. We were supposed to stay another week, but we missed the kids so much that we decided to end it early and go back home."

As much as he hated to ask, he did nonetheless, "Why aren't you with her?"

"We got booked on different flights. I'm on my way to the airport right now. So, what are you doing here?"

"I'm just here on business," Vlad stated icily. Sure he could say that he'd been here on vacation like Jack was, but frankly, he didn't want to have anything in common with the man.

"Oh, I see!" Jack said jovially, "Always the busy one, aren't you? Are you going back home to Wisconsin?" Jack asked after noticing Vlad's luggage.

"Yes, I have urgent business there as well," he replied drily.

"Hey, do you think that I could hitch a ride? I planned on taking the bus, but I think I missed it. Besides, it's been a while since we last seen each other. We could use the time to catch up!" Jack said excitedly.

Vlad considered it for a moment. He wasn't the most charitable person in the world, but if Jack was by himself, then it'd be the perfect chance to rip on him and rub it in his face that he had Jack's son without anyone jumping onto him. Of course, he wouldn't let Jack know he had the man's child (he doubted that Jack even realized it yet), but it would be amusing for him to insult Jack when the man was too thick to realize it.

"Sure!" Vlad said in mock chumminess, "I couldn't leave a good friend in need!"

"Thanks Vlad, your the best!"

The two of them climbed into the vehicle and began their drive to the airport. It was a good thing it was a limo since Vlad wasn't sure if Jack would be able to fit in any normal sized chair.

"Wow!" Jack said in awe, "This sure is roomy!"

"I'm sure that's a pleasant surprise for someone like you," Vlad said with a silent snicker to himself.

Just as Vlad thought, the comment flew right over Jack's head, "Whoah! Is that a cooler? Oh look! You even have a game system in here! This is awesome! You sure are living the high life!" The moron kept turning in the seat to make sure that every little feature didn't go unseen.

Vlad resisted rolling his eyes at Jack's over-enthusiam, "So how are the kids?" he asked.

Ripping his gaze from the HD-TV, Jack replied, "Well, I think Jazz is learning another language right now. I think it was French. No, wait, maybe it was Spanish?"

"Perhaps she's been speaking English the entire time, but you just can't understand her," Vlad said, implying upon how bad Jack's vocabulary could be at times. For a moment, he worried that he may have gone too far. Of course, he wouldn't mind if Jack became insulted, but it would take all the fun out of it.

"Yeah, your probably right. She might be studying some sort of British or Australian English," Jack said thoughtfully.

Vlad snorted, but covered it up as a cough. Only Jack would figure that there were vast differences in the other forms of English. "And how might Daniel be doing?" Vlad asked with fake curiousity laced in his voice.

"He's been doing well!" Jack said proudly at first, but then gave a sad sigh, "I haven't seen him recently though. He keeps staying over at his friends without telling us about it first. Jazz said that it was just a phase, but Maddie and I feel as though he's distanced himself from us," Jack sniffed.

"Errr . . ," Vlad wasn't sure on how to comment on that one. Normally, he would be amused at the irony, but for some reason, it just wasn't that enjoyable. Thankfully his cell phone rang to interrupt the uneasy silence.

Flipping open the phone, Vlad answered the call with a "What is it?"

"Uh, this is Steevie . . ," an unfamiliar voice came from the other line that sounded marginally slurred.

"Who is Steevie and how did you get this number?" Vlad asked irritably. Okay, he could understand how Skulker got his number, but was his secretary so incompetent that she couldn't tell the difference between who should have his number and who shouldn't?

"Uh, I'm Steevie and I, uhhh, asked your secretary for your number."

Dear God, did this guy have any brains at all or did he fry them with drugs? "It doesn't take a genius to figure out what your name is! What I'm asking is, 'Why are you calling me?'"

"Uh, your private jet is sorta' busted."

The hell? Was he being stalked by some creepy guy on marijuana? "What do you mean _it's busted_? How would you know the condition of my plane?!" Vlad asked, slightly paranoid.

"It's got something wrong with, uh, something in it and it's, uhhh, getting repairs. I'm, uh, the pilot for your jet so I-"

"-Your fired," Vlad interrupted _Steevie_ and hung up. Really, how did he manage to have so many idiots for employees? He should personally look over the resumes for any position of importance.

Vlad almost screamed when he saw noticed Jack sitting opposite of him. He had momentarily forgotten that the other man was there. How strange it was for him to not notice the man when he was so _large_.

Jack had fixed him with a funny look that he wasn't sure of what it was supposed to mean.

Puzzled, Vlad asked, "What?".

Jack opened his mouth to answer, but the chauffer(sp?) informed them that they had arrived at their destination before Jack could say a word.

Jack seemed to reconsider something before saying, "Well, we're here. Since your plane's busted, will you be using the ones here?"

"I suppose," he said slowly. He didn't _have_ to fly by plane to Wisconsin, but flying in his ghost form over large distances was rather draining and something told him he would need all the energy he could gather if he was to be faced with Daniel again.

"Hey, maybe you and I will get seats next to each other!" Jack said with renewed excitement.

"I _highly_ doubt that," Vlad and Jack got out of the limo and made their way into the airport.

"Oh well. I guess I should get going. I want to get on the plane early just to make sure that no one steals my seat!" Jack swatted Vlad on the back and said, "Seeya' later V-man!"

Vlad didn't bother to wave goodbye. He was too busy dealing with being winded from Jack's good natured hit.

After catching his breath, Vlad walked up to a nearby ticket clerk and asked when the next flight to Wisconsin would be.

"Sorry, sir," the clerk started, "We don't have any flights that go _that_ far north. However, you could fly one of our planes here to a northern airport, then board another plane to Wisconsin."

"I'll do that then," Vlad said, "I want a first-class ticket for the soonest flight north."

"Uh," the ticket clerk typed a bit on her keyboard and bit her lip, "I'm sorry sir, but the soonest we can book you for is two weeks from now and one week if you switch to third class."

"That won't do! Can't you just cancel someone else's flight?" Vlad then lowered his voice, "I'll pay you double."

"I'm sorry sir, but we can't give someone another person's seat unless they cancel on their own."

"Let me rephrase that," Vlad said, leaning slightly over the counter, "I'll pay you for the ticket, then give you one-thousand American dollars under the table."

The woman stared at him with an unreadable face.

"Do we have a deal?"

Turning her nose up slightly at him, "I'm sorry, sir, but it's company policy and I'm not that way."

"Two-thousand dollars and that's my last offer!" Vlad said loudly, drawing some unwanted attention.

"I'm sorry si-"

"Four-thousand dollars!"

"Sir, we can't gi-"

"Please! My son is dying with cancer and I must see him before he leaves this world and me forever!" the clerk gazed at him disbelievably. Vlad raised his head dramatically and shouted, "WHY IS THE WORLD SO CRUEL?!"

Several people were staring now. Vlad lowered his head into his hands and sobbed, "It's bad enough that the world is taking away the only thing that's precious to me! If you don't help me, then I'll never get a chance to see him again!" The people staring had frowns evident on their faces.

With a frightful glare, the woman said, "Sir, I can't ge-"

"-I'll never get to tell him how much I love him!"

"Sir-"

"-Please! I'm desperate!"

"No-"

"-How many tears will it take before the world is satisfied!?"

"Alright!" the woman nearly shrieked, "I may be able to find a third class ticket available for today, but you have to _shut up_."

"Thank you so much!" Vlad sniffed as he paid for his ticket and left the booth.

Vlad smiled at his victory as he made his way to his plane. Those acting classes really did pay off. He may have laid it on a bit too thick and it was slightly embaressing, but he got what he wanted. Ever since that incident with the ghost portal, he made sure that he always got what he wanted. Perhaps he had grown somewhat spoiled after his big success, but he was intent on never being disappointed again.

When Vlad boarded the plane, he realized how different first and third class were. He never really imagined it to be so different. He merely figured that only poor people got third class and didn't think beyond that. Now he understood why so many people complained about it. It was cramped. Really cramped. There were people practically sitting on top of each other and the level of noise was nearly unbearable. People shouting at flight attendants and the cries of children filled his ears.

Frowning, Vlad glanced at his ticket and tried to find his seat. Third class wasn't pleasant, but like hell if he was going to back out now after he had tried so hard to get the ticket.

Vlad found his seat near the back in the middle column. He didn't get a window seat, but at least he got one that was next to the aisle. Vlad took his seat and gazed around idly. There was a middle aged woman sitting opposite of the aisle holding a young child that briefly reminded him of Daniel, on his right sat some tourist looking in the other direction, far down the aisle was an flight attendant having a nervous breakdown, and some idiot in front of him was picking his nose.

"Charming," Vlad said. The man next to Vlad turned in his seat and gasped. Figuring that the man had seen something particularly interesting, Vlad looked to the left to find that there was nothing of real interest about the middle-aged woman, aside from the fact that she was scolding the child for something.

"V-man!"

Vlad jumped in his seat at the voice. He slowly turned his head to find Jack next to him with a smile plastered onto his face.

Oh God, the irony was practically choking him.

oOoOoOo

A/N: Okay . . . here's five and a half hours worth of non-stop typing after having to redo it twice. I'm hoping that the chapter is large enough to make up for my absence. If there's any spelling or grammar mistakes, I apologize. I plan to fix all the little problems in the fic (especially the boomerang) eventually. I don't know when I'll do it, but I'll do it. I'm hoping that I will add another chapter since making Vlad uncomfortable is really funny. Vlad and Skulker may seem a bit snarky, but I want to try to keep them in character and besides, they're having bad days. For any of those who ask (and I know there will be!), I do not hate Jack. I love Jack, but Vlad hates Jack so this sort of stuff is what you'll find often. I know that there wasn't much Danny in this chapter, but I'll make up for it. Okay, I'm about ready to drop, so hopefully you'll hear from me soon. . 


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